


melodies

by simplestar



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (i'm self projecting okay), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Dramatic Love Confessions, Fluff, Lots of Crying, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, attempts at humor, chan is the best person ever, enemies to friends to lovers kind of, epic bowling scene, he's just very bad at feelings, hyunsung flirt a lot, minho thinks he hates chan, minho writes chan a song, oh yeah and they kiss, spoiler: he doesn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 26,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25735774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplestar/pseuds/simplestar
Summary: it’s no big deal, everyone has feelings they don’t understand.so when minho realises he hates bang chan’s guts, he doesn’t stress over it.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 70
Kudos: 337
Collections: The Ultimate Minchan Masterlist





	1. one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which minho thinks he hates chan, but then a bowling game occurs, and everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: the beginning of an anxiety attack occurs during this fiction (during the bowling scene). this fic contains moments of social anxiety, it’s never too bad but it’s in the point of view of a character who deals with these issues (minho). it’s never explicitly mentioned but it’s there for sure (in the reaction of the character, in the pace i use for some moments…). please be careful during your reading if that is something that can trigger you !

Minho has always been bad at understanding his emotions. Or at least some of his emotions. He just knows he has a lot of them and sometimes they have fun disturbing the peace and quiet of his well-organised student life.

Take for example two nights ago: Minho has an assignment due at 8AM, that he started the night before. Naturally he decides to pull an all-nighter to finish it, while chugging cup of coffee after cup of coffee. Everything will go well, he just needs to stay awake and concentrate on his work.

So why the hell does he end up sobbing to his aloe vera at 4AM, clutching its pot while babbling absolute gibberish ?

Doesn’t make sense.

Have another example: it has been a long week, Minho and his friends decide to go to a tiny convivial restaurant to relax a bit. He feels quite good, he had a good grade in a subject he used to struggle a lot with and learnt that one of his lectures was cancelled the week after.

Minho is giddy - serotonin makes him feel a bit goofy you see, so when his plate of food finally arrives in front of his nose, he just points at it and shouts. Loudly.

It’s when everything becomes quiet and he crosses Jisung’s bewildered gaze that Minho realizes how ridiculous and shocking that must have been.

As Jisung lets a bit of rice fall out of his mouth while whispering a small “what the fuck Minho.”, Minho decides that maybe he should start meditating or something to control these uncalled-for emotions.

When he comes home after that one trip to the restaurant, Minho does end up trying meditation.

He downloads this application he has seen the ad on Youtube multiple times before, and signs up for free. It starts off well, he concentrates on what the lady’s voice orders him to do. He might have giggled a bit when it told him to focus on his toes - once again, he had a long week, but everything was going smoothly.

That is until his session is interrupted by a loud obnoxious voice asking him if he knew he could make a huuuuuge amount of money just by playing mobile games.

Fucking ads.

Grumbling, he tries to see if it is worth paying for a premium subscription, screeches in horror when he sees what only a month is worth, and uninstalls the app before flipping off his phone.

Fuck emotions, Minho decides after that incident.

So what if he doesn’t understand why he wants to eat his own fist when he watches kitten videos ? Or why he is quite fond of the old librarian, despite her strongly disliking him because he always gives back his books way too late ?

It’s no big deal, everyone has feelings they don’t understand.

So when Minho realises he hates Bang Chan’s guts, he doesn’t stress over it.

Bang Chan isn’t a bad guy. Far from it.

But Bang Chan is annoying. He always smiles and he’s always nice and everyone likes him, and Minho decided that these facts alone made Chan way too shady.

It doesn’t really help that his best friend worships the ground Chan walks on, but oh well Minho just has to plug in his earphones when Jisung starts ranting about-

“...you should have seen how cool Channie hyung looked in that moment.” Minho hears Jisung says as he removes one of his earbuds.

Perked up on the chair of his desk, Jisung has one hand holding a bag of crisps as the other rummages through it. He looks dreamily at the ceiling, obviously unaware of the fact that Minho hasn’t heard any of what he has said before.

It’s with horror that Minho stares at the floor coated with crumbs and back at Jisung munching with his mouth open.

“Jisung. Watch the carpet.” Minho glares, murderous. Jisung crosses his gaze. He looks back at his feet then back at Minho, who raises his eyebrows at him.

“Oops my bad.” Jisung pushes the crumbs further away with his foot before letting his hand dive back in the bag of crisps. “As I was saying, he-”

“You heathen, what the hell !” Minho suddenly gets up to grab the vacuum.

“Oh don’t act so dramatic, it’s my side of the room ! Why do you care if I make a bit of the mess ?”

“Why do I care ?” Minho plugs in the vacuum. “Do I look like like I want my room to be infested with roaches just because you eat like a pig ?”

“You’re always over-exaggerating, always making a fuss about n-” Minho cuts him off by turning on the vacuum.

He starts vacuuming aggressively while staring angrily at Jisung who just pouts at him, defeated.

Minho and Jisung have been best friends for less than a year and roommates for about a month, yet, they act like they have been married for decades. Always nagging and complaining about each other, but would punch the hell out of anybody bothering the other.

They’re a great combination.

They would be an even greater pair if only Jisung didn’t start talking about Chan again as soon as Minho stops vacuuming and plops down on his mattress.

“He arrived with a freaking suitcase like in Kingsman - it was so cool - and then he took out his equipment and said ‘I got this guys’ before getting to work like bro-” Jisung clutches his heart before dramatically sighing. “He’s so cool, I can’t believe I’m his friend.”

“You never get this happy about me being your friend.” Minho rolls his eyes.

“You know being your friend is one of the best things that has ever happened to me,” Minho smiles at that. “But dude, being Chan’s friend is like on a whole other level.”

“God I hate you so much.” Minho starts picking his earphones up before Jisung interrupts him.

“Come on, you know i’m joking.” Jisung brings a crisp to his mouth, this time being careful about keeping it shut when he eats, and eating above the bag. “What’s your deal with Chan anyways, why do you hate him ?”

“I don’t hate him, I just don’t want to hear about him. He annoys me.” Minho shrugs while putting his textbook in his lap.

“That’s harsh.” Jisung pursues his lips

“That’s me.”

And on that, Minho shuts Jisung out by putting his earphones on and going back to his study session, as Jisung sighs, deciding to do the same.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

It’s not like Minho doesn’t know Chan. They’re both part of the same friend group so obviously, they’re bound to interact, and knowing Chan has only reinforced the way he feels towards him.

Minho is a private person. He’s wary and careful, he enjoys loneliness but doesn’t mind the attention and affection from the people he cares about.

Chan isn’t part of these people, but he pays attention to him. Minho hates it.

For example, when Minho speaks, Chan is all ears and engages with the conversation, or when Minho says he likes something, Chan remembers it.

Once, Minho briefly mentioned how he enjoyed the chocolate cake they served at the cafeteria, but how he rarely got his hands on it since it was popular with other students as well. The day after, Chan came to their table, all smiles, and put a piece of chocolate cake on Minho’s tray before winking at him.

Ô how Minho loathed the feeling in his guts in that instant, all aching and burning. A twisted moment, really.

He had grumbled a little thank you before digging his spoon in the dessert, and unfortunately hadn’t missed the gentle smile Chan had addressed him right after before he greeted the rest of the group.

Minho has trouble accepting the affection of people in general, not just Chan's. Usually people would understand. Given his demeanour or his posture, Minho always gives off the impression that he doesn't want people talking to him or approaching him. He avoids eye contact, his mouth is drawn in a tight line and he’s all curled up on himself, like a turtle shielding itself from the rest of the world, safely hidden inside its shell.

Deep inside, Minho wishes he could be a turtle, that way he could protect himself by avoiding everyone and every single one of his responsibilities.

Sadly, he is human, and thus unable to get out of uncomfortable situations when he feels like it. He can’t get out of these just by blinking blankly at a spot on the wall pretending like he doesn’t understand or by hiding inside a shell.

How convenient it would be to have the ability to do that, Minho thinks, especially now, as Bang Chan sits across him at the library table.

Chan sets his computer and the rest of his stuff on the table carefully, before looking at Minho and giving him that damned sunshine smile. In response, Minho gives him an awkward nod and tries to concentrate on his worksheet.

That doesn’t prove to be effective. Chan’s presence is awfully distracting.

Despite him not doing much aside from working, Minho feels very much bothered by him being there.

He starts fidgeting on his seat out of sudden nervosity, and squints at his paper in hopes that his brain finally understands that it should concentrate on it and not freaking Bang Chan, who’s currently studying the screen of his computer carefully.

He’s biting his bottom lip, brows furrowed, head tilted on the side, and Minho should not be gulping at the sight but he catches himself doing exactly that.

Grumbling a small curse under his breath, he has just the time to advert Chan’s curious glance before diving back into his work, this time doing his best to stay focused.

They both end up working quietly on their respective tasks for the next few hours, not sparing each other any attention.

When the clock hits twelve, Minho stretches his limbs as Chan closes his computer and gathers his stuff before getting up.

Finally, Minho thinks in triumph, finally he’s leaving. His mouth curls up in a small grin and he even closes his eyes, making the pleasure experienced from his stretch and Chan’s departure lasts a little longer.

But his victory is short-lived, as he feels a hand resting on his shoulder, and when his eyes snap open and glance up, he’s met with Chan’s face.

“Hey, wanna grab lunch with me ?” He says as he exerts a little pressure on Minho’s shoulder.

Minho gulps, his pupils shake, and suddenly his mouth feels dry.

“L-lunch ? Like the meal ?” Minho utters, mentally giving himself one huge slap at the back of his head.

Chan laughs, his eyes crinkling and his dimples poking out.

 _How dare he_.

“Yeah, like the meal. Like us eating said meal and hanging out.”

There is absolutely no way in hell Minho is about to _hang out_ with Chan. Absolutely none. He knows he needs to decline in a polite way, but Minho always had trouble saying no without explaining the reason behind.

In short, Minho needs an excuse. He’s pretty sure Chan is aware of Jisung’s whereabouts so he absolutely cannot risk using him.

Thank god, Hwang Hyunjin still owes him one.

“O-oh uh i’m pretty sure I was supposed to eat lunch with Hyunjin. Very sorry.” Minho mumbles, glancing back at the table, Chan’s gaze becoming quite hard to sustain.

“Really ? That’s weird, Jisung told me they were eating together today.” Chan frowns, and goddamnit Minho really is this unlucky.

Of course, these two idiots who usually cannot act up on their feelings chose today to finally do something about them.

Minho fidgets, starting to blink quite rapidly. “Oh.”

Chan smiles at him, probably sensing his discomfort. “It’s okay, he probably just forgot.” He removes his hand from Minho’s shoulder and grabs his backpack straps. “Looks like it’s gonna be the four of us then.”

“Haha yes.” Minho answers, slowly zipping his pencil case.

_Well doesn’t that sound lovely._

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

**minho-hyung**

> hyunjin :)

**jinnie!**

> what do you want
> 
> what’s with the ominous :)

**minho-hyung**

> remember that time you confessed to jisung through text while you were drunk
> 
> and you begged me to delete the message on his phone before he could see it
> 
> and i did exactly that :)

**jinnie!**

> where is this heading
> 
> i don’t like this

**minho-hyung**

> well we could say that ever since you owe me one right ? :)

**jinnie!**

> get to the point

**minho-hyung**

> well i need help like rn

**jinnie!**

> im busy

**minho-hyung!**

> too bad
> 
> chan-hyung and i are crashing your date
> 
> we’re here in thirty seconds
> 
> and you can’t protest or i’ll tell jisung everything

**jinnie!**

> you’re kidding right

**minho-hyung**

> we’re even now
> 
> thank you so much jinnie <3

**jinnie!**

> you better be joking
> 
> and it’s NOT a date
> 
> hyung ?
> 
> i hate you

Hyunjin hears the door of the diner being open as he puts his phone down, and soon enough, he hears steps coming his way.

He has just the time to give an apologetic glance to Jisung who doesn’t even notice him, way too engrossed in destroying his sandwich with his teeth, before he hears someone clear their throat.

When he looks up at the noise, both Chan and Minho are greeting him, waiting for room to be made for them.

“Fancy seeing you two here.” Hyunjin grits his teeth as Minho smiles sweetly at him, batting his eyelashes.

“I can’t believe you almost ditched on me Jinnie, you can be so forgetful.” Minho sits down next to him, putting his arm around his shoulder while pointedly looking at him. ‘Go with it or I’ll ruin your life’ Hyunjin reads in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry hyung, what an airhead I am !” Hyunjin puts his arm around Minho’s shoulder as well, squeezing it a bit too tight. It makes Minho yelp in pain. Serves him right, Hyunjin thinks.

“Minho-hyung what are you- CHANNIE-HYUNG !” Jisung all but squeals when he finally realises they have acquired new company. “Channie hyung sit next to me come on there’s room for the both of us !” Jisung tugs at Chan’s hand who chuckles at his enthusiasm.

“Alright alright I’ll sit next to you, you don’t have to wrestle me.” Chan laughs while taking a seat at Jisung’s side. “Minho, shall we order ?”

“Oh uh yeah sure-”

“Hyung you’re eating with us ? It’s been ages, you’re always hanging out with those older dudes nowadays.” Jisung pouts, referring to Chan’s classmates. “You shouldn’t take the turkey sandwich by the way, it’s bad.”

“Yeah and that totally explains why you just devoured it like you haven’t eaten in months.” Minho hands Jisung a tissue while staring at him, disgusted. “You have mayonnaise everywhere.”

“Thanks hyung !” Jisung exclaims as he hastily takes the tissue, mouth still full.

“Gross.” Minho smiles fondly against himself, while leaning down to get his wallet from his backpack.

Minho is ready to do it, ready to get up and head to the counter to place his order, except as he turns his head, he crosses paths with Chan’s eyes, fixated on him, gentle. His gaze is soft, and his head is perched on his right hand, just observing, his lips curved in a small smile.

Suddenly, it’s like he can’t move, and he stares back, mouth slightly agape.

How idiotic must he look, he thinks, but somehow it seems to be the last of his worries at this very moment.

He barely registers Chan starting to move and removing his gaze from his, as he takes out his wallet and starts getting up.

Chan’s mouth is moving, and he is visibly talking, but Minho feels like his ears have been stuffed with cotton and he doesn’t listen, just continues watching.

Since when does he have a mole in his eyebrow ? And he has soft freckles on his cheekbones as well. _That’s cute_ , Minho admits to himself as he chews on his bottom lip.

“...Minho ?” Chan waves in his face, smiling.

“Mmh… ?” Minho slowly regains his spirits, and is now aware that all eyes are on him. Even Jisung has stopped munching on his soggy bread.

“Oh uh sorry, what ? What were you saying ?” He fidgets and suddenly looks at his knees.

“I’ll go order for the both of us. You’re taking the usual ?”

“Yes, sure.” Minho utters, not raising his head and not bothering to ask how Chan has managed to remember what he usually ordered in the few times they’ve been at the diner together.

Chan is then gone after taking Minho’s bill, on his way to order, and Minho leans back against the couch, exhaling a sigh, and absolutely ignoring the baffled looks both Jisung and Hyunjin are giving him.

“What was that ?” Jisung asks first, putting his food on his tray.

“What was what ?” Minho grumbles, still not looking up

“You staring at Chan ? That was some intense shit right there.” Jisung says as he starts removing the pickles from his sandwich, placing them on Hyunjin’s tray.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I was just spacing out.” Minho mumbles in a low voice.

“Spacing out my ass. And so much for hating Chan’s guts.” Jisung snorts.

“You hate Chan ?” Hyunjin barges in the conversation, a surprised look on his face. “But you…”

When Minho glares at him, Hyunjin shuts his mouth. and the conversation stops at that, silence surrounding them.

Jisung and Hyunjin slowly pick their sandwiches up to eat, one looking unbothered, the other troubled, and Minho has the urge the leave right now without looking back, because for some reason, he feels mortified.

_I was just spacing out._

He had just been lost in his thoughts for a few seconds, there was nothing to read there, nothing to make a fuss about.

So why in the world is his face burning.

Why are his lips twitching and why are his legs wobbly when he’s currently seated.

Minho has barely the time to calm his frantic heartbeat before he realizes Chan is coming back with both their orders.

His smile is warm as he sits across Minho, setting both his lunch and a piece of chocolate cake in front of him. That’s odd, Minho didn’t specify he wanted a dessert.

“I didn’t-”

“I know yeah, sorry.” Chan giggles a bit highly while scratching behind his ear and Minho certainly doesn’t find it adorable. “I know you like the one from the cafeteria and this one looked nice as well, so…”

Minho raises his eyebrow, prompting him to continue. So what ? What the hell was Bang Chan thinking he was doing here.

Chan bites his lower lip, obviously a bit embarrassed. “So i thought I'd give it to you, to make you happy, maybe ? I can take it back if you don’t want it, it’s okay.”

“No !” Minho wraps his hands arounds the dessert’s plate protectively. “Thank you, very much. I-I’m grateful.” He finds himself lowering his head again, this time successfully avoiding the cute smile Chan is probably giving him at the moment.

Soon enough, the attention on his and Chan’s little interaction is diverted to Jisung starting yet another conversation to appeal to _his favorite friend, you know you’re my favorite, right hyung ?_ , and Minho can properly freak out by himself about whatever just happened.

Or maybe nothing happened ? Minho certainly didn’t feel a few tingles here and there and butterflies flapping not so gently inside his stomach. Totally didn’t. And if, by chance, he actually did, they’re probably the result of his deep-rooted hatred.

Chan was nice to him, he didn’t like it, causing his body to give him signals that his affection was not wanted.

It makes total sense, Minho manages to convince himself while agressively sipping the remains of his milkshake from his straw.

“So, Minho, coming with us ?” Hyunjin elbows him on the side, getting him out of his thoughts for a second.

“Uh yeah sure.” Minho agrees without having a single clue about where and when they were going. Maybe he doesn’t care to know because he’s busy gazing at Chan’s face as he stares down at his phone, writing a text. Or maybe he’s still daydreaming. Probably the latter.

“Cool, see you tomorrow then, gotta run !” Hyunjin gets up to go, not forgetting to wink at Jisung, who raises his eyebrows appreciatively. Chan leaves a few minutes after, leaving both Jisung and Minho at the diner.

Jisung is staring suspiciously at Minho while the latter digs his spoon into the chocolate cake. Minho does his best to ignore him, and frankly succeeds, because he spends majority of his time doing so.

“Exactly where are we going tomorrow ?” he says in between two mouthfuls.

“Bowling.”

Minho almost spits out his cake, but that would be a waste and it’s honestly delicious, so he settles for swallowing it while looking absolutely dumbfounded.

“But ! We hate bowling, Jisung !” He almost shouts.

“Look, I agreed because Hyunjin is going, you on the other hand, I don’t know what the hell you were thinking.”

“I don’t know what I was agreeing to !” Minho yells again, earning himself some glares from the clients as well as the staff.

“Yeah and I wonder why is that.” Jisung scoffs. “How many eyelashes does Chan’s right eye have, exactly ?”

If both of them are kicked out for public disturbance after that, it’s totally not Minho’s fault.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

Minho doesn’t want to go.

He doesn’t like social gatherings like these. With too few people he knows and not a lot of room to escape.

He knows in advance he’s bad at bowling so he’ll probably stay on the couch and observe people having fun. He will probably stick to Hyunjin and Jisung who will throw him dirty looks because they wanted some time alone without him in the way.

But whatever, Minho can bear the thought of his two friends being momentarily mad at him if it means he doesn’t have to interact with anyone else

He puts his favorite jacket on in hopes of at least feeling more confident about going bowling with random people - it doesn’t work -, and waits for Jisung to finally pick a pair of pants.

“Jisung, for the love god, we’re already fifteen minutes late.” He lets himself fall on his bed. “You’re making me dizzy by running around the room, just go with your ripped jeans.”

Minho really is feeling dizzy, head spinning and sick stomach and all that. He’s wondering if it’s because of Jisung’s agitation or simply because he’s nervous.

He’s got a bad feeling about this bowling outing.

“Oh and which pair of ripped jeans ?” Jisung says, hair in spikes and holding at least three pairs of pants. “Humour me.”

“I don’t know.” Minho sighs, letting his head fall back. “But you’re certainly not going in your briefs so please do me a favour and pick one, fast.”

Minho groans when he feels an additional weight dipping on the mattress next to him.

“Jisung-”

“It’s just. I really like him.” Jisung licks his lips, sighing. “I know it sounds a bit silly, but I wanna impress him, and I want him to look at me in that way, you know.”

They both turn to face each other, and Jisung looks a bit insecure and it tugs at Minho’s heartstrings. He usually looks like he’s overflowing with confidence and he likes making dumb jokes no matter the time of the day, but Minho knows better than that.

He knows the Jisung who needs to hear that he’s doing good, the Jisung who needs soft words after midnight because everything gets a bit too much.

He brushes his best friend’s hair back in place, and flicks his forehead lightly, giggling when Jisung whines in pain and counters back by pushing his shoulder.

“Trust me, no matter the pair of jeans you wear, he’ll look at you in that way.” He says, voice as light as a whisper, but loud enough for Jisung to hear.

“Don’t bring my hopes up please.” Jisung grins, eyes shimmering.

“It’s not the jeans you wear who make you who you are.” Minho looks at him directly in the eyes. “These jeans don't have your smile or your sense of humour. So trust me he’ll look at you in that way no matter the ones you pick. Because you’re you, and not because of how you dress up.”

He smiles when he sees Jisung’s bottom lip starting to tremble and his eyes watering.

How emotional he can get sometimes.

“Minh-”

“That being said,” Minho gets up to avoid Jisung ready to tackle him into a hug. “The dark ones make your legs look good, just saying.”

“You’re a lifesaver.” Jisung says as he rushes back to the bathroom. “God we’re so late.”

“That’s what I keep telling you, you idiot.” Minho mumbles as he checks the time again.

Twenty minutes late. Whatever, that’s less time spent freaking bowling.

“By the way.” Jisung passes him by, grabbing his shoes. “These earrings look pretty on you, just saying.” he winks.

Minho glares, his cheeks a bit hot. “What are you implying ?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Jisung laughs. “Come on let’s go.”

Minho has just the time to cross his reflection in the mirror before going. The thought of removing the earrings is tempting for a minute, because he sure as hell isn’t trying to impress someone.

He gulps, gauging himself.

He looks great with them, and that’s good enough reason to keep them, so he turns on his heels and follows Jisung out.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

_This isn’t fun_ , is the exact thought crossing Minho’s mind as he sits alone on the couch, and not with Hyunjin and Jisung like he previously pictured. The lovebirds-to-be got up to play a few minutes ago and he didn’t have the heart to invade their bubble once again.

At least he had the pleasure to witness them awkwardly flirting, with Jisung pretending he had trouble throwing the ball, and Hyunjin using the cliché trope to go behind him to teach him.

Though Minho didn’t think it would be very practical using this technique while playing bowling.

He was proven right a few seconds later when Jisung didn’t manage to throw the ball correctly with Hyunjin’s arms around him. It fell flat on the dancer’s foot, resulting in multiple screeches from him, and countless apologies from his counterpart.

Music to Minho’s ears.

When the two of them left the alley, probably to take care of Hyunjin’s foot, he lost the last source of entertainment he had left. Maybe he could take out his phone and play some games, or maybe he could go home, Jisung would understand. All of this wasn’t exactly his scene. Strangers, games, drinks. As much as he wanted to enjoy it, he was most likely to be uncomfortable in this kind of environment, and rare would be the times where he actually had some fun at these gatherings. Tonight obviously wasn’t one of them.

He contemplates a few more minutes on whether to leave or not, when suddenly the couch dips beside him and chatter erupts.

Oh.

Oh no.

While Minho could handle sitting alone at a public area for a few minutes without feeling embarrassed, he definitely wasn’t comfortable with having his space being invaded by multiple strangers at once.

A group of students all huddle up on the couch in front of him and on the one he’s sat on. Minho hastily snatches his bag and presses it against his chest when one guy almost sits on it. His fingers tighten on the straps as he makes room for the students and he’s ready to make a run for it when he realizes he’s stranded.

On his left, a student. On his right, another student.

He’s trapped.

Even more so when he finds himself with a glass of beer in his hand and someone taps his shoulder in a manner that is a bit too friendly considering he doesn’t know any of these people.

“You got a name pretty boy ?” One of the girls leans in, smiling. “What are you doing alone here ?”

Minho points at himself, gulping. The girl nods in affirmation. “Uuh Minho...My name is Minho. My friends left for a bit. I’m waiting for them.”

She hums softly and sips on her beer, casting her eyes elsewhere as she most likely feels the anxiety radiating from Minho. Imaginary turtle shell draped on his back and over his head, Minho puts his glass on the table. He's ready to bolt out of here as soon as he regains strength in his knees.

These people don’t look mean, as a matter of fact they look like a friendly bunch. But they all know each other and are throwing inside jokes around as Minho awkwardly sits between them. He’s been in this kind of situation before but Jisung or Hyunjin was by his side and he could loosen up in their company. But all alone, Minho finds himself incapable of meddling with strangers.

He fiddles with his pocket until he finds his phone, ready to tell his friends he's going home. On his lockscreen, he notices a few texts Jisung has sent him not too long ago. As his eyes scan the first few words, he feels his heartbeat quickening and cold drops of sweat form themselves on his nape. He swiftly unlocks his screen so he can fully understand what his best friend has to tell him.

**ji ;(**

> hyung i’m so sorry we left you alone :(((
> 
> they didn’t have ice at the bowling so we went to get some at one of jinnie’s friends.
> 
> he’s getting bandaged up right now and it looks like we won’t be back before approximately thirty minutes. could you keep our bags in the meantime ?
> 
> i’m really sorry i’ll definitely make it up to you :(

Minho feels his stomach drop. A sigh escapes his lips but he can barely hear it. Everything starts to feel blurry and distanced.

It always starts like this, always starts with his mind slowly exiting his body. He feels like he’s floating in the room, waiting for the storm to pass and praying he’s left alone until he regains his spirits back.

As he rubs his thigh with his palm, he slowly starts mumbling to himself comforting words to try and get back to rationality - it’s gonna be okay, this is gonna pass, breathe, Minho, when he sees a hand reaching out to him. Exactly the last thing he needs.

“Hey are you okay ?” He hears the girl from earlier saying. Her hand is almost on his shoulder and Minho tightly shuts his eyes. “You look a bit pale-”

The touch never comes. Instead, Minho hears the sound of two hands knocking against one another, and the chatter ceases. As he slowly snaps his head up, Minho realises someone is leaning over him and has reached out to give the girl a high-five before her hand had the chance to rest upon Minho’s shoulder.

“Chan ?” The girl says, smiling.

 _Chan ?_ Minho slowly turns his head to be met with Bang Chan’s side profile, his cheekbones sharp and his eyes smiling. He feels himself being able to breathe again.

“Hi Sana. Sorry I’m late.” Chan waves at the entire table and cheers erupt from the group of students as they greet him with various handshakes and pats on the back. As he takes the beer from one of them, Minho realises they must be his friends and classmates - the older dudes that Jisung had previously mentioned. This thought strangely puts his mind at ease and he finds himself exhaling through his nose in relief.

At the corner of his eye, he catches Chan skirting around the table and soon enough, he’s standing right in front of him. He eyes the guy squished next to Minho. “Mind making room for me ?” He asks with a tight smile.

The guy sputters and nods quickly, moving away from Minho who sighs in relief at the newly found space, which is however clogged once again, but this time by Chan, who makes sure Minho isn’t as squeezed as he used to be. Oddly enough, Minho finds himself comforted by Chan’s presence. He might be far from being his favorite person, but at least Minho knows him. And Chan knows him as well, and although it might piss Minho off on most occasions, Chan pays attention to him and he knows when he’s uncomfortable. Moreover, since he is annoyingly perfect, he’ll make sure his friends don’t bother him or talk to him anymore.

The static which was previously resonating in Minho's eardrums slowly fades away. He really did avoid a catastrophe here and although he hates to admit it, it is mainly thanks to Chan making his grand appearance.

He shoots a quick text to Jisung assuring him that he will be okay and that he’ll be waiting for their return. He won’t have the time of his life by staying with Chan and his classmates at a bowling alley but at least he knows he doesn’t risk freaking out again and that he’s safe.

Leaning back against the cushions, he takes the time to close his eyes for a bit, suddenly exhausted after his mental marathon. Although bowling alleys aren’t his favorite places to be, he has to admit the atmosphere is nice. The fun retro music coming out of the speakers is surprisingly relaxing and he has to snap his eyes open to avoid falling asleep on the spot. His gaze falls on the ceiling and he’s greeted by kaleidoscopic lights lighting up the entire surface.

They’re pretty and hypnotising, maybe Minho could stare at them until his two dumbass friends come pick him up.

He feels the cushions beside him dip, and after removing his gaze from the patterns on the ceiling, his eyes meet Chan’s ones. He looks worried, and at the sight, Minho feels like his heart has been harshly pinched, the dull ache making him almost wince. “You okay ?” Chan asks, his gaze shifting lower before looking at Minho again.

Following the path of his eyes, Minho notices his fingers gripping Chan’s jacket, seemingly having played with his zipper ever since Chan got here. Embarrassed, he removes his hands from it, cheeks flushed. “Sorry ! I didn’t even notice, I’m really sorry…”

“No Minho it’s okay, I really don’t mind. I’m just worried.” Chan almost takes his hands to put them back on his jacket but retracts them quickly, probably not wanting to embarrass Minho even more. He licks his lips. “Do you wanna get out of here ? I could take you home.”

“I’d like to, but I can’t.” Minho shifts on his seat, staring at his lap. “Jisung and Hyunjin left their bags here and I need to keep an eye on them while they’re gone.”

“You were with them ? What happened ?” Chan asks.

“Yeah I was with them. And regarding what happened…”

As Minho starts explaining to Chan what previously happened during his bowling outing, he finds himself relaxing and somehow fully getting back to normal. Chan looks at him with his warm eyes and his warm smile, drinking in Minho’s words and looking entertained by his storytelling.

For once, Minho doesn’t feel odd about Chan’s attention. For once he doesn’t panic over the looks Chan gives him or over the looks he finds himself giving to Chan. He lets himself forget his usual animosity towards him to enjoy the moment, and even to enjoy the strange burns occuring in his stomach whenever Chan and him are alone - the ones he usually associates with loathing.

“The only thing that’s not fun about this is that Hyunjin probably won’t come to dance practice with me for a few days since the ball crushed his foot.” Minho pouts - and mentally screams as he becomes aware of the fact that he’s acting cutely to Bang Chan, his supposed mortal enemy.

“I could come visit you ! I mean, if you want to - or not. That’s up to you. Maybe I’ll just bother you and- okay, I’ll shut up now.” Chan’s cheeks are a bit rosy as he lets out a high pitched laugh and lowers his face, his fingers coming to play with the skin above his lip.

_Is Bang Chan drunk ?_

“Sure ! Why not…” Minho says, timidly smiling.

_AM I DRUNK ?_

Before Minho can properly freak out about the fact that he just accepted not one but several one-on-one meetings with Chan, he hears the girl from earlier - Sana, he remembers - clearing her throat while wiggling her eyebrows at them.

“When you two are done flirting-” Both him and Chan nearly choke at this, “- you could join us. We’re gonna start playing and we have room for one more pair.”

“I don’t think we-”

“Okay.” Minho blurts out before he can stop himself. Chan looks at him like he’s lost his damn mind. And maybe he did. Minho doesn’t know anymore. He just feels a weird rush of adrenaline scurrying through his veins and he wants to make the most out of it.

“Sweet ! I’ll put both your names in the computer then ! You’ll be the last ones to play." On this, Sana turns on her heels and leaves Minho with both his bad decision and Chan looking very much puzzled by said bad decision.

“Chan, I don’t know how to play bowling.” Minho mumbles, hit by the sudden realization that he indeed doesn’t know how to play bowling. At least real bowling.

He still remembers playing bowling on the Wii with both Jisung and Hyunjin last summer. Him and Jisung pathetically lost to a very skilled Hyunjin who ended up making them clean his room as a penalty. Ever since, he swore to himself he would never play this devilish game again, still haunted by the memory of a nasty stain on Hyunjin’s carpet, that was most likely his dog’s doing.

“Oh it’s okay ! I can explain the basics to you. Without the foot fracture part, that is.” He chuckles and Minho can’t help but stifle a laugh at that.

As Chan gets up, Minho follows, feeling a bit nervous at the idea of making a fool out of himself in front of everyone. “So first off,” Chan says picking up a ball. “You need to choose a ball that isn’t too heavy or too light. Just stick to the one that feels right. Also your fingers should fit perfectly in the holes, we don’t you want getting stuck or the ball slipping from you because the holes were too tiny.” Chan explains as Minho picks a random ball up, trying to listen to Chan’s instructions as well as he can.

“This one’s okay ?” Chan smiles at him as Minho hugs a bright pink ball close to his chest. Minho nods, definitely unsure about his choice. In any case, he doubts any ball that doesn’t have magic superpowers will save him from his bowling incompetence.

“Regarding the throwing part… I’m no expert at all. Just stay behind the line, don’t rush yourself and aim as best as you can.” Chan mutters, choosing a ball of his own.

“And they uhm…” Minho clears his throat, gulping as he looks at the bowling lane. “Your friends don’t want bumpers ?”

“Nope, they like the game to be as serious as possible. It just seems like bowling for us, but for them, it’s war.” Chan laughs, before facing Minho, obviously looking stressed out. He opens his mouth, most likely to offer him some reassurance, when he hears their names being called out by Sana.

As both him and Chan get in front of the bowling lane, Minho feels his limbs becoming jelly. All eyes are on him and he hears a few cheers coming from the table as well as some teasing jokes made at Chan’s expanse, probably about him getting his ass beaten. With a partner like Minho, it indeed looks like Chan is in for a sore defeat. Minho almost feels bad. Almost.

As perfect as always, Chan gets a spare and Minho holds himself back from rolling his eyes at the sight. Of course he’s also good at bowling.

He doesn’t have more time to grumble by himself as he now realises that it’s his turn to throw the ball.

Exhaling by his mouth, Minho looks at the pins from afar. They look like they’re mocking him, pointing fingers at him and calling him a loser. _Fuck off, pins_ , Minho glares. Strangely, they remind him of Jisung back at the diner, laughing at him for supposedly staring at Chan with a dreamy look on his face.

Subconsciously, and eyebrows furrowed, Minho’s grip on his bowling ball tightens.

“Relax Minho.”

Chan comes close to him, his voice soft and comforting. “Just do your best. No matter what the result will be, I’m still happy you’re my partner.”

Minho feels his heart jumping in his ribcage and a nice warmth spreads on his cheeks. Smiling shyly at Chan, who pats his back before giving him some space, Minho breathes one last time before staring at the pins. They’re all wearing Jisung faces now.

He clenches his teeth, and grips the ball tightly.

_“How many eyelashes does Chan’s right eye have, exactly ?”_

Gaining some momentum, Minho glares. He angles his foot as best as he can before he starts taking the first steps. If he were in an anime, flames would be engulfing his entire body right now. Taking one last breath, he approaches the lane, and straightens his wrist as he puts the ball behind his back, ready to swing it towards the pins. Rotating his hand, he get closer to the limit and as soon as the ball is next to his ankle, Minho throws it, holding himself back from shouting at the Jisung looking pins.

_I. Was. Just. Spacing. Out._

He follows the path of his ball, almost screaming in joy when it doesn’t fall straight in the gutter.

Speaking of straight, its trajectory is rather straight right now. Perfectly straight even ? Minho’s eyes widen as his ball rapidly bulldozes ahead, before colliding with the pins.

All the pins fall. Strike.

Minho gasps as he turns to Chan, the latter looking even more surprised, his smile going up to his ears.

“Did I just... ?” Minho looks at the fallen pins before looking at Chan again.

“Hell yeah you did !” Chan breathes, sounding amazed. The both of them stare at the lane before laughing out loud, obviously gloating at Minho's newly-found skill. They share a high-five, before the next team comes to their side.

“Boooo ! Beginner’s luck ! Move aside losers, now the real game begins.” Sana jokingly says before picking her ball up.

“Okay, bring it on.” Chan smirks, looking competitive and almost intimidating as his aura completely shifts. Minho has never seen Chan like that and he has to admit it’s rather attractive. Although they’re just bowling. Someone looking extremely pumped at the idea of hitting pins with a big ball shouldn’t be this hot

“We’re gonna kill this, Minho.” He says, his eyes piercing into the lane.

And they do, in fact, kill it. Turns out it’s not just beginner’s luck. Turns out Minho only sucks at Wii bowling. Turns out he’s an ace at actual bowling. Also, turns out he has a good time. Minho hasn’t felt this carefree and happy with people other than Jisung and Hyunjin in ages. He finds himself laughing uproariously, cracking a few jokes himself and overall just having _fun_.

He has fun without being worried about what other people might think of him, or without wanting to run into the bathroom and lock himself there until his friends return.

Chan’s presence is a halo around him, subtly intervening when Minho looks a bit lost, cheering on him whenever it’s his turn to throw the ball, and flipping his friends off when they boo him for achieving yet another strike. He finds himself forgetting his hostility towards him. And for once he doesn’t overthink.

He finds it pleasant, to stop caring. To just enjoy what he’s feeling without questioning if it’s out of the ordinary and if it’s going to last.

Soon enough, the game is over, and Chan and Minho take the victory under Chan’s friends applause. Minho bows at them sheepishly, going to sit next to Chan as the table decide to order one more round of beers before starting another game.

“Wait hold on !” Chan says when his friend is about to get up to go to the bar. “You don’t drink alcohol do you ?” Chan asks Minho, his eyes drifting to Minho’s glass of beer which has yet to be emptied.

“Oh uh yes I do ! Just not a fan of beer. But it’s okay, you guys don’t have to order me anything.” Minho replies, shaking his hands in front of him.

“Would be nonsense not to treat the star of today’s game.” Chan addresses him a crooked smile. “Would a strawberry soda be okay ? They don’t have a lot of choices here.”

Strawberry. Just like the milkshake Minho orders when they go to the diner.

Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but then again Chan remembers his order by heart, so it wouldn’t be surprising for him to assume Minho likes strawberry flavored things. His thoughtfulness has Minho’s lips tingling.

“Yes, strawberry sounds perfect.” He smiles at Chan, who returns it with full force.

A few minutes later and Minho finds himself huddled up on the couch with Chan’s friends and Chan himself, watching them banter with a soft grin plastered on his face. He listens quietly to their stories and his chuckles are whisper-like. He’s in his element. And he thinks he wouldn’t mind doing this again.

He doesn’t even notice when his friends are back, Jisung creeping up behind wearing a pout on his face.

“Why didn’t you get the orange soda ?” He says, imitating the video he has shown Minho a thousand times before. He claims it’s the comedic piece of the century. Minho still doesn’t understand what’s so funny about it.

“Oh hey you’re back !” Minho looks back at his two friends, their cheeks flushed from the cold of the night. “How’s Hyunjin’s foot ?”

“It hurts a bit but I think I’ll be fine in a week or so.” Hyunjin rubs the back of his neck, looking apologetic. “I might have to skip dance practice hyung, I'm sorry.” Minho ponders on teasing the both of them about their flirting - which had led to the infamous injury - but he ends up not having the heart to follow through, considering they’re both looking at him like puppies about to be scolded.

“I’m so sorry we ended up taking so long. We had trouble catching a bus and the walk here was long since we were careful with Hyunjin’s foot. Were you okay by yourself ?” Jisung plays with his fingers, having trouble keeping eye-contact with Minho.

“Oh I wasn’t alone I was with-”

“CHANNIE-HYUNG !” Jisung screeches as Chan turns back to greet them.

“Holy shit Jisung, you really need to stop doing that.” Minho puts a hand on his ear, wincing.

“So you two were together ? That’s a relief… I was feeling awful considering we ended up being away for over an hour and a half…”

Minho widens his eyes at that, quickly getting his phone out of his pocket to corroborate what Jisung just said. Turns out he was right, and Minho didn’t see the time fly by as he was too engrossed in playing bowling and chatting with Chan and his friends.

“Honestly time passed by super quickly.” Chan says, voicing out Minho’s thoughts while looking at him. “We had a lot of fun. Even won the bowling game.” He smiles, and Minho can’t help but return it.

“ _You_ played bowling ?” Jisung points his finger at Minho.

“And you _won_ ?” Hyunjin raises his eyebrows, stunned.

“Yeah !” Minho beams, eyes crinkling in delight at the sight of his frankly shocked friends. He has no doubt that next time he comes here with them, he’ll humiliate them with his godly skills and they’ll be the ones receiving the penalty of the century. No more nasty stain to clean for Minho.

“He’s crazy good at it. Put everyone to shame.” Chan adds under his friends' bewildered stares.

“Well damn, I wanna see that in action now.” Jisung smiles. “Lix and Seungmin are gonna join us later, wanna play with us ?”

If this had been any other night, Minho would have probably said yes. But after nearly going through a meltdown and having hung out with strangers for over an hour, he feels very much drained, and the only thing he wants right now is to take a hot shower, change into his comfiest sweatpants and cuddle into his blankets until he falls asleep.

He’s ready to decline the offer when Jisung uses his most effective weapon: the puppy dog eyes.

It works 98% of the time. He uses it when he shakes Minho awake at 2am because he’s craving an ice cream cone, or when he somehow messes up and Minho is about to scold him. Minho really wishes he wasn’t using them right now, because he feels himself caving in when staying here is the last thing he wants.

He opens his mouth to accept. _I guess I’ll just fall asleep on the couch while they’re playing._

“-Actually I was about to take Minho home.” Chan intervenes, fully turning his body towards Jisung.

 _Huh ?_ Minho’s eyes go as wide as saucers.

“Oh really ? I guess you must be pretty tired,.” Jisung pouts, as Minho stares back and forth at the both of them.

What just happened ? Did Chan just come to his rescue for the umpteenth time of the evening ? _Why ?_ Even when Minho has pretty much acted distanced and borderline rude to him every time they interacted - why is Chan still so sickeningly sweet to him ?

It’s one thing to get him chocolate cake and hold the door for him. It’s another one to notice when he’s tired or bothered and make sure he’s comfortable while respecting his boundaries. Why must Chan be so perfect ? Why must he make Minho feel all those things he doesn’t understand and confuse him all the damn time ? It’s overwhelming. Painfully so.

As both Chan and Minho get up and greet everyone goodbye, Minho feels his heart beat faster at the thought of going back home with Chan. He knows the older lives in an apartment not too far from the campus, so that means he’ll probably accompany him to his door. The prospect of spending this much time alone with him makes his whole body feel flimsy.

They bow to the bowling alley's owner before making their way outside, the cold wind making Minho wince as he tightens his jacket around himself, subconsciously shuffling closer to Chan. The two of them start walking in silence to the bus stop, both adorning soft smiles.

“You were a beast out there,” Chan says, chuckling to himself. “I’ve never had this much fun while playing bowling. Tonight was great.”

“Do you want to go back ?” Minho asked, instantly feeling bad that maybe Chan must have felt compelled to say he had to bring Minho home after seeing him this tired. “Sorry you had to leave because of me.”

“What ?" Chan frowns. "No Minho, it’s fine, I wanted to go home as well.” Minho squints, apparently not entirely convinced. “No really, I have an assignment to finish and the sooner it’s done the sooner I can go to sleep. And playing bowling without my terrific partner by my side sounds kind of boring so....”

Minho laughs at that, high pitched and melodious. “You know I thought I sucked at bowling ? I’m so bad at Wii bowling that I was convinced I was gonna humiliate myself if I played the real thing. But this was really fun, and your friends are nice.” He sounds like a kid, so young and joyful and innocent. He doesn’t think he has sounded like that for a long time. He also doesn’t know why he’s talking so much, eager to share with Chan every little thought that crosses his mind.

“They’re nice yeah, I hope they didn’t bother you though, they can be a bit too much sometimes.”

“I was kind of freaked out at first but then you came to save me so it’s okay…” Minho lowers his head, feeling his face heating up. “Thank you by the way, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“It’s fine. I’m glad I was there.” Chan offers him one of his dashing smiles as the bus arrives right as they make it to the bus stop.

Minho blanks out, feeling like the world has flipped around for a long second. Chan looks like a prince. His dark hair is being swayed by the winter wind and his eyes are a warm chocolate brown and his dimples are showing and those freaking freckles are coating his pink cheeks. He’s so handsome and nice and caring and why does Minho hate him.

Suddenly he finds himself stressing over it.

Suddenly he isn’t okay with not understanding his own emotions. He wants to understand why he feels that way towards Chan. Why does he make him feel things that are so unique and specific and why doesn’t it happen with other people ? Why is it always Chan ?

“After you.” Chan says as lets Minho enter the bus first.

The bus is almost empty. There’s an old lady with a bag of late night groceries and a man cuddling his dog while gazing outside. Chan and Minho walk a bit before sitting down beside each other, Chan close to the window. They make small talk in light whispers. “What is your assignment about ?” “Do you have dance class tomorrow ?” “We should go eat there sometimes” and “You look tired Minho, you can rest”, and Minho does feel himself dozing off while mumbling something to Chan about his cats back at home.

He feels happy, and safe and comforted, and when he wakes up twenty minutes later, he has his head on Chan’s shoulder and their fingers are loosely interlaced. He doesn’t know how they ended up in this position, but he feels his own heart aching when he realises they’ve arrived, and Chan is gently looking down at him while he stirs awake.

When they get down the bus, Minho immediately misses the feeling of his palm against Chan’s. When Chan accompanies him to his door with a promise of seeing him soon, Minho immediately misses him.

 _Maybe Bang Chan isn’t that bad after all_ , Minho finds himself thinking as he looks at Chan’s back when he walks away and disappears into the night.

His grip on his backpack become tighter, just like the knot forming in his throat, and slowly, he turns away too, ready to come home.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

Three days later and Minho has yet to see Chan again. Strangely he finds himself waiting and craving his presence. He wants to talk to him about the rude lady he bumped into at the diner, and ask him about the assignment they talked about three nights ago. He wants to show him the pictures his mom sent him of Soonie, Doongie and Dori cuddling on a blanket, and make him listen to this indie song he’s really been liking these days.

Some of these things he doesn’t even share with Jisung. With Jisung he shares funny videos and Netflix shows, but almost never the most intimate parts of himself. Minho feels like he wants to try and share these with Chan.

He wants to give it a try, because ever since the evening they spent at the bowling, Minho feels like he’s been utterly mistaken about Chan and what he feels towards him. He still doesn’t know what word to put on it, but he knows it’s not hatred, or annoyance. It’s nothing negative. On the opposite Chan makes him feel good. He makes him feel like he's walking on a sea of clouds, like he's bouncing on the balls of his feet and he'll be safe from falling even if he stumbles a bit.

Chan makes him feels all kind of things he has never felt before. The burns, the tingles, the ache. He doesn’t know what to make of it. He always associated these sensations with a sense of unpleasantness, leading him to dislike Chan. But they’re far from being unpleasant. They’re just new. And that’s what scares him.

Minho’s scared of the unknown and things he’s never experienced, he feels the most comfortable when he’s following a routine and his habits are undisturbed. Chan shakes up this bubble of safety, and Minho’s supposed to be frightened by it, but it’s like Chan is somehow supposed to be part of this bubble of his.

Chan knows how to calm him down when he’s panicking, he listens to him well, is careful with him… It freaked Minho out because he wasn’t used to it. But he’s gonna try getting used to it. Because he misses the comfort that washed over him when he was asleep on Chan’s shoulder, and he woke up to the feeling of his fingers tracing ghostly patterns on his knuckles.

He misses him. Simple as that. And Minho tries to forget about it as he stays late at the dance studio, perfecting a choreography his dance teacher had recently taught his group. Dance practice hasn’t been as fun lately, because Hyunjin isn’t there to make him crack up or distract him. Instead of dance being his leisure time where he can relax, dance has become his way to let off some steam. He goes hard and his moves are especially sharp, he doesn’t have any mercy on himself and simply uses it as a way to forget anything else exists. He’s so focused that he doesn’t realise everyone slowly leaving or the clock rapidly moving until it’s late in the evening.

When he finally forces himself to stop dancing, he’s entirely exhausted and his ears are ringing loudly. He crawls up on the floor and lays there, like a starfish waiting to be washed off by the sea. After some time, he finds it in himself to go towards the locker room, where he takes a quick shower, eager to get out of there and get himself something to eat.

He’s packing his things up quietly when suddenly, a voice erupts.

“Knock, knock.”

Minho whips his head towards it when he recognises immediately who it belongs to.

Chan is standing behind the lockers, slowly making his way towards him with a plastic bag in his hand. Minho’s heart stutters. His stomach twists. His eyes twitch. He tries his best not to think about all that, and rather to concentrate on Chan and his red cheeks bitten by the cold. He looks happy to see him, he always does.

“Hyung, what are you doing here ?” He utters while closing his bag and getting close to Chan with kitten steps.

“Well last time I did mention visiting you at the dance studio.” He sheepishly strokes the back of his neck with his hand. “I didn’t want to bother you at first but then I decided three days without seeing you was a bit too much. So here I am…”

There’s a moment of silence as Minho stops in his footsteps and just stares at Chan, who stares at his feet, and Minho realises his cheeks aren’t red from the cold only. He could almost cry at the sight because Chan is so unbelievably sweet and he wanted to see Minho too and this probably isn’t a one sided thing. Chan probably feels something special towards Minho too.

Minho’s grip on his bag tightens, as blood pounds in his eardrums. “You’re right it was a bit too much.” He says, fierce eyes piercing into Chan as the latter snaps his head up. Minho knows he’s getting a bit brave and it’s scaring him a bit to go down that path, but he knows it’s worth it when he sees Chan’s entire face lighting up.

“I brought take-out.” Chan lifts up the plastic bag he’s holding and Minho almost moans out loud because he’s starving, Chan is here, and suddenly all is good in the world.

An hour later and they’re on the floor of the practice room Minho was previously training in. The take-out containers previously full of chinese food are all emptied and both Minho and Chan are lying down on their stomachs, skimming through Minho’s gallery on his phone as he shows Chan pictures of his cats after he insisted Minho wasn’t boring him with his cat-lady antics.

“Doongie’s a brat. He mistreats me.” Minho pouts as he zooms in a picture of Doongie scowling at him with a bored look on his face.

“How so ?” Chan asks, eyes glued on the phone.

“He ignores me when I come home, he acts like he doesn’t know who I am. You’d think he’d be grateful after the years I spent by his side being an amazing cat butler.”

“He’s probably just sulking.” Chan smiles at him, softly brushing the inside of his wrist as a way to bring him comfort. “He most likely misses you when you’re not there and maybe he’s a bit mad that you’re away.”

“If I could I’d bring all three of my cats at the dorm. But I heard even sneaking a fish in is difficult so it’s doomed in advance.” Minho sighs, resting his chin on his arm as he shuts off the screen of his phone.

“You could bring them to my apartment.” Chan grins, obviously joking. “It’s a bit tiny and my roommate would probably beat my ass but we could give it a shot.” Minho groans.

“Don’t even tempt me or you’ll have three furry friends on your doormat in the next 24 hours.”

They laugh quietly, before Minho turns on his side, gazing at Chan through his eyelashes. “Did you have pets ? In Australia I mean.”

Minho’s aware Chan moved out of Australia to go to their university three years ago. He received an offer he couldn’t possibly refuse and next thing he knew he was on a plane to Seoul and would only visit home once or twice a year. Minho wonders how hard it must have been and if it still is. He knows that he probably wouldn’t have been able to do it without falling apart. But for the time that he’s known him, Minho never saw Chan without a smile. He never heard him complain, never saw him upset. Chan always looks strong and happy. Minho wonders if it's always sincere.

“I have a dog… Her name’s Berry, she’s a Cavalier King Charles. Here.” Chan shows him a picture of a cute petite dog engulfed in a fluffy blanket. “She’s the most adorable dog ever. Very sweet, always ready to cuddle.”

“Do you miss her ?” _Do you miss home ?_

“I do miss her ! I miss my family too. Miss my home. Miss Australia.” Chan bites his lip.

“Is it hard ? I mean, do you still manage to be okay ?”

“It’s tough at times. I had to change some of my habits, had to acclimate quite fast too. But I was lucky enough to find friends who were nice and caring very fast, and even some who could understand my struggles, like Felix. I’m not alone in this, so it helps a lot.”

Minho hums, his fingers reaching the hem of Chan’s t-shirt to play with it a bit, before they travel upwards and start making their way to his lower back. He hopes he can brings a bit of warmth to Chan even if it’s through feather-light touches. He looks like doesn’t open up about this often.

“How is it like, in Australia ?” He asks, his voice as soft as his caresses.

“It’s hot.” Chan blurts out, before the both of them laugh. “It’s hot and humid. Sometimes a bit too much, but you get used to it. It’s a lot of memories. It’s where I grew up, where I went to school, where I made my first friends, had my first bike, my first party, my first heartbreak- don’t give me that look, I was 10.” Minho blushes when he realises he must have looked offended when Chan mentioned the heartbreak part, most likely because it meant he had a significant other in the past. Minho wonders how many people were able to take a portion of Chan’s heart before he met him.

“It’s somewhere that will always be a big part of me. I feel my best when I’m there, like I’m invincible. I’m probably not making a lot of sense, but yeah. That’s what’s Australia’s like. For me, at least.”

They stay silent for a bit, while Minho continues stroking Chan’s back as the older closes his eyes, as if he were trying to travel in his own head. To Sydney, to the beach, to where he could hear the sound of waves crashing.

“Will you take me there one day ?” Minho whispers.

Chan opens his eyes, also turning on his side so he’s able to face Minho.

“I’ll definitely take you there one day. It’s a promise."

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

Hyunjin has a broken toe. He barges in one night at Jisung and Minho’s shared dorm room with tears streaming down his face because he’s dramatic like that, and a tub of vanilla ice cream under his arm. Jisung had pumped his chest like a superhero, draped a blanket around Hyunjin’s shoulders and started leading him to his bed, before realising that the reason for Hyunjin’s broken toe was the bowling ball that fell on his foot. _His_ bowling ball.

So of course, Jisung ended up crying too, and Minho spent his night feeding ice cream to the babies he had for friends.

While the both of them were sniffling while holding each other, barely paying attention to the Ghibli movie they decided to watch in order to ‘heal their souls’, Minho came to the realisation that he was gonna be alone at dance practice for at least three more weeks. And that surely meant he was going to spend more time alone with Chan, since the older would categorically refuse to let him be lonely or go home by himself.

And surely enough, that is what end up happening. Chan and Minho become almost inseparable during Hyunjin’s recovery.

At first they only stay in the practice room. Chan always brings take-out, or snacks he got at the store. They eat while telling each other stories, whether they’re sad, fun, outrageous, or scary because it’s late at night - and also because Chan loves startling Minho with a shout at the end of these.

But then they start going to other places. Firstly, they go to one of the music studios that Chan borrowed the keys of. Chan plays the piano for Minho and he shows him some easy melodies to play, that the younger tries to memorise the best he can. Then one evening, they go sit on one of the benches outside the building. It’s very cold and they’re drinking watery hot chocolate they got at the machine in the hallway. It’s definitely not their best idea, but Minho takes pretty pictures that night, so he treasures the memory.

Starting from the second week, they decide to visit some other places once Minho is done with practice. Chan takes him to a night market where they get cheese corn-dogs and buy matching bracelets. They go eat sushi once, and shitty hamburgers another time. They take long walks in the park and throw snowballs at each other, until they’re too tired and decide to ultimately go home.

Minho decides it’s the best three weeks he’s ever had. Time seems to pass so fast and he’s not troubled by anything. He works hard during the day and when he doesn’t have dance practice because he knows he’ll get to relax once he’s with Chan. He feels breezy and safe, like he’s on top of the world and no one can force him to come down.

It’s great. Chan’s great. The best, actually, and Minho has no clue how he was able to dislike the man for so long. He doesn’t even know how he was able to live happily before him and Chan started hanging out like this.

It’s around 9pm during a Thursday evening, and they’re both in the practice room, bags and books sprawled out on the floor because they decided to do some homework before lazing around. Minho groans as he closes his textbook and puts his pencil down, rolling on his side until he’s half spread on Chan’s back, his chin digging into his shoulder.

“Take me to the barbecue restaurant.” He mumbles.

“Dude I’m fucking broke.” Chan mutters, frowning at his computer.

Minho sighs, letting his forehead rest against Chan’s neck. “Me too. We’re kind of dumb.” He says, referring to the shit ton of money they’ve been spending on food during their hangouts.

“Kind of ?” Chan cracks a smile, turning to face Minho who chuckles before getting back on the floor and lying by his side. They exchange boyish grins, tired, when Minho pushes Chan’s shoulder slightly.

“What do you think you’re doing ?” Chan smiles, and Minho giggles as he pushes harder, making Chan whine in pain before he retaliates, pushing Minho half heartedly, and soon enough they’re wrestling on the floor like kids, laughing their hearts out without a care in the world.

They’re both very tired however, and their fight doesn’t last long. Chan has Minho pinned to the crowd, perched on his back, when he decides to call it a truce and slouch on him, his face buried in Minho’s hair. “Hyung you’re heavy.” Minho mumbles, not making any movement to get Chan off his back. The latter just hums in response, obviously not intending to move.

Minho sighs, extending his arm out to get his phone and check his notifications.

> → **new message from** : _jinnie!_

Hyunjin sends him a mirror selfie where his foot is on display, glued to the mirror. The caption reads “i lived bitch” and Minho snorts before his face falls. Hyunjin being done with his recovery means that Minho is going back to his old routine and his old habits. It means that after dance practice, him and Hyunjin will shower and then get drinks at the vending machine, do their homeworks in the library for an hour, and part ways to go home. It means Chan won’t be waiting at the door at the end of Minho’s class, won’t be dragging him by the hand to go visit another spot, and won’t drop him at his dorm with his tender smile and his lingering gaze.

“Oh cool, you won’t be alone at dance practice anymore if Hyunjin’s back.” Chan says as he lifts his head up to get a look at Minho’s phone. However, he quickly senses that something isn’t right, as Minho’s back becomes tense under him and the silence settling between them drags out. Chan gets off him carefully, before putting an arm around his shoulder, trying to meet his eyes. “What is it ?” He murmurs.

Minho is quiet for a few more seconds. He looks worried and pensive, slightly frowning, gaze unfocused. Finally, he opens his mouth, eyes now fixed on the floor. “Hyung, does this mean we’re gonna stop hanging out ?”

“Mmmh ? Why would we stop hanging out ?”

“I don’t know, just… You know it's not something that happened before, the two of us doing stuff together. I mean just us… with no one else… Like, before Hyunjin got injured, it was per coincidence that we hung out alone. I’m wondering if it’s gonna be like that again.” Chan slowly massages his shoulder as he speaks, and Minho has even more trouble getting the words out with his heart beating this fast.

“Do you want it to be like that again ?” Minho shakes his head no. “Then you have your answer.” Chan smiles at him softly when Minho lifts his head up. “I’ll go pick you up from your other classes from time to time, and we can go study at the library together whenever you want. When my friends go bowling again I’ll take you with me, and when I get more money I’ll treat you and we’ll go the barbecue restaurant together, okay ?”

“Okay.” Minho answers in a whisper, his head falling against Chan’s shoulder.

“I love spending time with you the most, Minho. It would be hard for me too if we went back to how it was before.” Chan softly presses a kiss against his hair and Minho unconsciously nuzzles closer to him, the pain in his chest making him squirm because it’s too good and too short-lived. It’s like someone lighted a match inside of him and suddenly sparks are flying everywhere in his ribcage.

Minho used to hate that sensation.

Now it’s his favorite one.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

Minho’s head is resting against his forearms, and he can feel himself dozing off.

He’s in one of the classrooms, along with Hyunjin, Felix and Seungmin. Him and Hyunjin came to assist the other two for their assignment, but of course the younger ones ended up chatting instead of working.

Hyunjin started the whole ordeal - because of course he did - by throwing his pen at Seungmin who charged at him like an enraged bull. Felix ended up calming them down but the deed was done and they were distracted for the rest of their work session.

The topics changed from video-games to random gossip and Minho got bored quickly. He was fairly tired and missed the comfort of his bed. He honestly thought of telling his friends he was going home because he didn’t have any more classes and all he wanted right now was catch up on some anime and sip on diet coke.

“- I think Chan-hyung’s being too nice.”

If Minho were a puppy, his ears would’ve perked up at the name.

“He’s always being too nice. It’s gonna bite him in the ass one day.” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, Minho frowns. _What are they talking about ?_

“Like seriously, I don’t get it.” Felix mumbles. “The guy’s a jerk ! I don’t understand why Chan-hyung would help him out on the track.”

“It’s because he can’t say no ! Seriously, has hyung ever said no to something, ever ?”

“If he did I wasn’t there to witness it.” Hyunjin snorts. “In my opinion, he would even say yes to-”

“Stop talking about him like that !”

Minho is caught off guard.

_Who said that ?_

All heads turn towards him. He feels himself breathing hard and his cheeks are hot.

_Me ?_

“Channie-hyung is an amazing person !” Minho blurts out, frowning, his eyes watery. “He knows what he’s doing and he isn’t as nice as you think he is. And he knows when and how to impose limits in order to get respected.” He inhales, fiddling with his fingers and refusing to look at his friends. “S-so please have some faith in him and stop… talking about him like that.”

Silence.

Bewildered gazes on him.

Seungmin clears his throat. He’s the first one to speak up. “Sorry Minho. We know you two are very close, we didn’t mean to upset you.”

“W-we aren’t that-”

“We didn’t mean anything mean by saying that, you know how much we love him.” Felix says, his eyes kind. “But I guess we should’ve been more careful. Chan-hyung has been telling me about you guys hanging out a lot, I understand why you’re protective of him.”

“Wha-”

“Him and Minho-hyung have been all over each other recently.” Hyunjin adds, and Minho really doesn’t like the look in his eyes. “Like seriously, last time he came to pick him up after dance practice and I was with them for a while. All I wanted to do was get the hell out of there because the whole time they looked like they were about to make o-”

“I HAVE TO GO.”

Minho gets up abruptly, his chair almost falling behind him. He picks his bag up and tightens his scarf around his neck before practically running to the door.

“S-see you guys !” He addresses his friends a rushed wave that they don’t even have the time to reciprocate before he’s bolting out of there.

 _What was that ? What has gotten into me ?_ Minho feels a hundred questions rushing through his brain as he walks towards his dorm, determined to forget that whatever happened happened. Why was he so adamant on defending Chan ? What did he get so defensive for ? Sure him and Chan are close, but he knows Hyunjin, Felix and Seungmin are close to him too and never in a million years would they speak ill about him. They didn’t mean any harm. Minho knows that. So why did he react like that ?

And what were his friends even talking about ? Yes him and Chan have been hanging out and yes they’re getting closer, but they’re not _all over each other_ , and they certainly have not been making o-

Minho’s face gets so hot, he has the urge to put his head in a pile of snow.

Minho doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand both his and their reactions. He knows Chan makes him feel a certain way. He knows he gives him chest pains and blood rushes that he used to find very confusing.

But that doesn’t mean Minho wants to hold his hand all the time or that he thinks about him when he wakes up and when he goes to sleep. That doesn’t mean either that he wants to kiss all over his face and all over his neck and that he wants Chan to hug him very tightly and whisper to him so he’s the only one that can hear him.

That doesn’t mean he wants to make Chan happy everyday, and that he thinks his laughter is the most melodious sound he’s ever heard.

That doesn’t mean he wants to be the only one Chan sees, that he wants to shine bright in his eyes.

That doesn’t mean he wants Chan to be his.

That doesn’t mean he likes Chan.

Right ?

…

Oh.

_Oh._

Minho brings his hand to his mouth, shocked at the realisation.

“Oh my god. I like Chan-hyung."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *awkward coughing* 
> 
> hello, hi, good morning, good afternoon, good evening!! i hope you all liked it, and i hope i don't take too long writing the second part considering i'm a master procrastinator. 
> 
> you can find me on my twt writing/rant account @cyberchans where i mostly cry about minchan and about how my life is going wrong and also where i'll update my writing progress! i'd love to make friends, especially writer friends so don't hesitate. and don't feel forced. you go with the flow you know. haha. i go now. take care!!!


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which minho decides to write a secret song containing his confession to chan, but then he gets drunk, and things take a turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s the part where the title makes sense *inhales*
> 
> music producing is mentioned in this part and i profusely apologise for my lacking (read: nonexistent) knowledge in the subject. i swear i tried my best not to mention any technical stuff because except for the videos i watch for fun from time to time, i know jack shit about it. i hope it doesn’t sound awkward and that it’ll still be enjoyable to read :>
> 
> also, as i stated in the first part, the main character (minho) deals with anxiety so stay careful while you read this if it’s something that triggers you!

“JISUNG !”

Minho is red in the face when he enters his dorm room. Jisung looks shocked at the outburst and he puts his pen down, looking away from his worksheet.

“Wow dude, what’s up ? You look-”

“SHUT UP.” Minho shouts. Jisung puts his hands up in defence, not wanting to get his head bitten off by his dragon of a roommate.

“W-what would you…” Minho exhales through his nose and blinks a considerable amount of times. “H-Hypothetically what would you do if…” He whines, facepalming.

Looks like it’s gonna be more of a challenge to get the words out than he initially thought.

“Jisung !” He starts again, maybe a bit too loudly since Jisung practically jumps out of his seat. Minho scratches the side of his head and flushes. He isn’t really good with feelings - this is an established fact -, it’s already hard enough to figure them out so speaking them into existence is usually off limits. “Uuuh…”

“Chill out bro, you like you’re gonna confess to me or something.” Jisung snickers before his face falls, colour draining from his cheeks, pupils shaking. “Oh no.”

“NO !” Minho yells, panicking. “Fucking hell, no !”

“Damn, no need to seem that offended.” Jisung pouts and crosses his arms.

There’s a pregnant pause. Minho is embarrassed. His best friend always sees him being nonchalant about pretty much everything unless they’re in a public place. It must be weird for him to see Minho being this distraught in the comfort of their dorm room.

“What do you do…” Minho sighs, looking down at his feet, starting to play with his fingers. “What do you do when you like someone ?”

Jisung blinks at him. “Ignore them as best as you can in hopes that they’ll magically fall in love with you if you stare at them hard enough ?”

“I’m being serious !” Minho shuffles to his bed before plopping down on his comforter, hugging a pillow close to his chest.

“I’m being serious too ! Stop looking at me like that you big baby.” He says at a pouting Minho. “Who’s asking you for advice anyways ? I might be able to help if I know who it is.”

Minho groans, hitting his head against his mattress. “No way you’re that dense...”

“What ?” “What do you mean ‘what’ you big doofus ? I’m the one who’s asking you for help ! Me !”

“I mean yeah I got that part, I’m asking you who asked you- wait. You don’t mean…? Hold on…” He looks at Minho who closes his eyes, offering him a constipated smile. “Minho ?! No way- You ?! WHAT ?!”

“Please don’t shout, I already feel like my brain is melting out of my ears.”

Jisung removes his headphones from his neck and puts them on his desk. Minho groans when he sees him getting out of his chair because that means he’s gonna lunge at him like a cannonball and he’s too tired to dodge him or kick him. He catches Jisung while rolling his eyes and does his best to ignore him as he’s gazing up at him with sparkly anime eyes.

“Took you long enough.” The sound of his voice is muffled by Minho’s shirt. “It was getting kinda tiring hearing you swear that you despised Chan-hyung while looking at him with lovestruck eyes.”

“Why do you think it’s Chan…” Minho mumbles, and Jisung smirks at him. “You know what ? You’re right, I like Channie-hyung. So get that look off your face, I’ve been humiliated enough for today.” He sighs. “Everyone seems to have noticed that him and I have a thing except me…”

Jisung lets out a breathy laugh. “You were kind of obsessed with the fact that you didn’t like him - which was ridiculous since we all saw how you looked at him.” He lifts his face off Minho’s torso and sits down, beaming. “Now it’s time for us to have mandatory crush talk. I need to know _everything_.”

“Like hell you need to know everything.” Minho throws the pillow he was previously holding at him.

He lets himself fall back, looking up at the ceiling, and he gulps. Now what ? The realisation that he likes Chan has already sunk in but he still feels like something is off. Like he needs to let the content of his heart spill right here and then.

He spent months in denial, months ignoring Chan and glaring at him (although apparently he was quite rubbish at it), and everything has accumulated to the point that he feels so full, he could burst.

Burst until all the butterflies and sparks in his belly fly away, burst until he can feel like he can breathe some fresh air, since everything feels so hot and so heavy everytime he inhales.

It’s like he’s got the fever of the century. And it’s all because of Chan and the way he adores him.

“I feel like I’m going to explode everytime I think about him.” His voice is almost a whisper when he speaks. “I need to do something, anything, to get things off my chest.”

“You want to confess to him ?”

“What ?” Minho sits up immediately. “No I can’t do that ! I don’t even know if he likes me back !”

“Please Minho, the guy has had a ginormous crush on you for months now. I bet he already wrote hundreds of songs about you.”

“He wrote songs about me ?” Minho furiously blushes, and Jisung almost coos at the sight - he catches himself right on time though, fearing the wrath of his best friend.

“I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me, and visibly you wouldn’t mind that at all.”

Minho glares at him, but the intimidating effect he wants to achieve deplorably fails because he looks so flushed and so smitten now that they’re talking about Chan, Jisung almost doesn’t recognise him.

Minho has never really been the type to be attracted to people. When someone flirts with him, he looks bored, when Jisung shows him a cute actor on the screen, he shrugs. Even the one time someone confessed to him, he looked so confused, the only thing he could do was excuse himself and walk away awkwardly.

Lee Minho is not familiar with many emotions and feelings, but until recently, it seemed like he never even knew what romance was.

But now, it certainly looks like Chan has him wrapped around his little finger. It’s both endearing and concerning. Like watching a curious kitty exploring outdoors for the first time.

“You could write him a letter or something.”

“No.”

“You wouldn’t have to actually send it ! Just you know, it would be a way for you to lay your feelings down, and it seems like that’s what you need right now.”

“Yeah but a letter feels too… Intimate ? Romantic ? And I feel like I wouldn’t be able to say much without feeling embarrassed. I was thinking of doing something more fun, that wouldn’t let me think too much…”

“Oh my god. Let’s make a Powerpoint.”

“Jisung no.”

“I’ll make a Powerpoint for Hyunjin. He’ll love it.”

“Oh, I’m sure he would. Would you actually sit him down and read him a presentation ?”

“Don’t make fun of me, you know I can’t even tell him I think his pants look nice without wanting to cry.” He pouts, crossing his arms.

They both sigh, lying down, looking up, and soon they’re surrounded by silence.

Minho knows Jisung is plotting something and he has no idea whether he should be thrilled or scared - probably the latter. He doesn’t have the heart to stop him however, because at this point he’ll do anything to calm his raging heartbeat and quiet down the mini him running in his head screaming 'CHAN! CHAN! CHAN! CHAN!'.

“Let’s write a song.”

“To Hyunjin ? You just told me even a Powerpoint was off limits.”

“Not to Hyunjin, dumbass. To Chan.” He sits up, looking at Minho, who still promptly avoids his gaze. “You looked so happy about the fact that he possibly wrote songs about you. Why don’t you write him one in return ?”

“Jisung have you forgotten I have absolutely zero music production knowledge ?”

“But I do ! In fact, let’s make it right now, I’ll get my stuff.”

“Hold on, I didn’t say I was-”

It’s not even worth arguing with Jisung when he looks this pumped.

When he has one idea in mind, he’ll go through with it whether you agree with him or not. And right now, Minho really doesn’t have the heart to quarrel with him because he frankly looks fired up and happy about making this song. Plus the idea in itself is rather harmless.

It’s not like he’s going to send the song to Chan.

Nothing can go wrong with this, right ?

Jisung scurries towards Minho’s bed with a strange looking keyboard as well as his pc, a notebook, and a few pens in his arms. Minho almost has a stroke as he sees his laptop threatening to fall and smash itself on the floor and hurries to help Jisung settle everything on his bed.

“Okay so. What do you want the melody to sound like ?”

"Ji, I just told you I had zero producing knowledge." Minho groans.“You know what, maybe we should forget about it, I’ll just watch something and try to distract myself.”

Jisung’s eyes widen. “No, no, no ! Listen, okay, mmmh…” He hastily grabs the strange looking keyboard and puts it on his lap. “Look I’m gonna play some random melodies and if you hear something you like, tell me.”

Minho sighs but he decides to go with it, since his best friend looks like he’s really excited about this whole love song making concept. Plus it’s the occasion to spend time with him. Lately whenever he goes home, he greets Jisung with a quick wave before passing out on his bed, so it’s been a while since he’s done something with him, and although he’ll never admit it out loud, he kind of misses it.

He fiddles with Jisung’s half chewed pens while the latter plays for him.

It reminds him of when Chan played the piano for him back at the music studio. They both were speaking in hushed whispers at the time, keeping their giggles down, even if no one was around to scold them for making noise. Minho smiles at the memory, and as he slowly spaces out, losing himself to his thoughts, something catches his attention.

“Wait ! Play that again !” He grabs Jisung’s wrists.

“What, this ?” Jisung plays the melody again, and Minho utters a small yes, lips pursued.

“I-It’s the…the...”

“Chan-hyung played that for you, didn’t he ?” Minho nods, looking timid. “It’s something he made up a while ago when he was just getting started, he likes showing it to newbies because it’s simple but it still sounds good.”

Minho’s lips make an o shape, as he listens to Jisung explaining that Chan showed him that melody too, when the younger was new to producing and he didn’t know where to start. He would be kind of reckless and panicky, and found the process too difficult, Chan sat him down and told him to start with creating something simple rather than the complicated work of art Jisung wanted to achieve on his first go. When he succeeded with creating something that sounded decent, it calmed his nerves and it inspired him not to give up.

He tells Minho how Chan always had, and still has the best advice, and was always very encouraging towards him. He also adds that he recalls him looking very intimidating and scary when he didn’t know him. Minho snorts at that.

“We could use it if you want, as a starter, but of course I have to touch it up before, and add some more things to it. I’ll work on it while you try and write down some lyrics. What do you think ?”

Minho stays silent for a bit, looking at Jisung, thinking whether this is a good idea or not. But once again, this is something that’s going to stay between the two of them. And Minho really needs to let his feelings out before he goes insane.

“Oh what the heck, give me some paper.” He grumbles, and Jisung beams, throwing him one of his notebooks.

He starts working with his best friend by his side, with only the sound of Jisung’s fingers working on his keyboard filling the room, and occasionally music blasting from his headphones.

Writing lyrics down, Minho finds out roughly an hour later, isn’t as complicated as it seems. It’s just letting yourself be honest on a piece of paper.

It’s giving freedom to both your mind and your pen as it scribbles down all of your thoughts, as if an invisible thread was linking your brain to the ink.

He wasn’t expecting himself to be good at it given the problem he experiences with his usual emotional stiffness, but when he looks at what he wrote down, he can tell with confidence that he’s proud of it.

“All done ?” Jisung asks after removing his headphones.

Minho smiles at him, looking satisfied, and hands him his work. Jisung skims over it, frowning, and Minho can tell he’s concentrating hard on the task - probably trying to decipher Minho’s metaphorical masterpiece.

“Man…” He says, putting the notebook down, and Minho’s sure he must be quite moved. “Hyung, what the hell is this… Are you sure you like the guy ?”

Minho gasps in shock, staring at Jisung, baffled. “What do you mean ? Of course I like him ! I poured my heart into that ! It’s poetic !”

“Dude, I’ve never read any poem with lines like ‘sorry i was a twat to you lol’ or ‘i just think you’re pretty neat’.”

“Well the poems you read are boring as shit then.” Minho pouts, crossing his arms against his chest.

Jisung sighs. “Okay, listen. Your lyrics aren’t that bad. But I think you’re a bit too emotionally guarded for the moment to really make sense of what you’re feeling towards Chan-hyung. Hence why I think we should have the mandatory crush talk.”

Minho groans again, ready to object.

“Hear me out. I’ll brush over your lyrics while you tell me about you and Chan-hyung. That way, I can make them a bit more.. romantic - don’t gag, stop it -, but it’ll still be personal.”

“It’s late, Jisung.” Minho pouts.

“It’s barely 9PM, you hag.” Jisung squints.

They glare at each other for a few seconds before Minho rolls his eyes, throwing his arms in the air. He can never win against a more than determined Jisung.

“Fine ! What do you want to know ?”

Minho doesn’t even know for how long he’s been talking, he stopped being aware of the clock ticking a long time ago. He just knows that starting from the moment he talked about Chan holding his hand during the bus ride, he hasn’t been able to stop rambling.

He tells Jisung everything. About the snowball fights, about the matching bracelets, about how Chan’s eyes reflect the moonlight at night, and his smile during the day is nothing but pure sunshine.

He even tells him about how he got disappointed when he learnt Hyunjin had recovered from his broken toe, because that meant he would spend less time with Chan.

He’s so concentrated on talking, he doesn’t have time to dodge Jisung's foot wacking him across the face.

“You know how I have the tendency to think way too much.” Minho continues after him and Jisung have finished throwing punches at each other. “Well with him, I forget everything. I stop thinking. I stop worrying. At first I thought it was the scariest thing ever, but then I just decided to let it happen, and now I’m addicted to it. I’m addicted to being with him because it’s so freeing and it feels so good to stop being on pins and needles all the damn time even when nothing is happening. It’s like I was meant to be with him. He just makes me feel safe. He makes the world turn right. Even if it’s just my world.”

He plays a bit with the hem of his comforter, lulled by the sound of Jisung writing down on paper.

“I think I was mean to him before because I just didn’t understand why everything felt so different with him. He makes my body feel all weird, and makes me go no thoughts, head empty all the time, and I never felt like that before. It scared me, and to be honest I’m still scared now. I’m scared he’ll run the other way if he gets to know me better and realises just how much of a mess I am.”

Minho gulps, before breathing out, putting his head on Jisung’s shoulder. It’s narrower than Chan’s one but it’s still comfortable, and Jisung’s sweatshirt feels soft.

“Damn.” Jisung sighs. “You really freaking like him.”

Minho sighs as well, nodding his head slowly.

“Tell me what you think of the lyrics.” Jisung pats his thigh affectionately before dropping the notebook on his lap. “I have an idea of how you could sing them since you don’t have a lot of experience. Or we don’t have to do it at all." He rubs the back of his neck, looking down. "Since you know, I think talking about it was what you needed.”

The proposition is tempting but Jisung looked happy at the prospect of creating a song with his best friend. Plus, so far, Minho has had a fun time. And he hates leaving things undone.

“I say let’s do it.” He smiles when Jisung throws his fist up in the air. “But I need snacks first.”

They end up finishing the song at around one in the morning.

At some point they also record themselves screaming with autotune instead of working.

And maybe Jisung ends up having one of his crying-about-Hyunjin-late-at-night sessions while Minho is busy trying to sing the chorus.

But they do end up with a final product in their hands, and although it’s only a minute and a half long and Minho sounds a bit awkward on the track, it still is fairly good, and Minho ends up saving it on his phone for when he needs a courage boost.

They end up going to sleep quite late. Minho knows he’s going to regret it, since he has morning class and he’s going out for drinks in the evening.

He just didn’t know how much.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

Minho’s buzzed.

His eyelids feel heavy and he’s got a bitter taste on his tongue, but he can’t stop smiling, and his cheeks hurt from how much he’s laughing at Jisung’s stupid jokes. They’re not even that funny. Or maybe they are. To be quite frank, Minho has no clue what he’s saying but everyone else is roaring with laughter so it must be hilarious. So he laughs. And spills a bit of alcohol in the process. No one notices.

He puts his glass down, and although it’s already half full, he steals Seungmin’s bottle of whatever he’s been drinking and pours a good amount of it in his glass.

Deep down, he knows it’s probably not the good thing to do. But he’s also had a shit grade in one of his classes today and it’s been two days since he’s seen Chan.

So fuck it, he decides, he’s gonna drown his bad mood with alcohol, and he’ll probably regret all of his life choices tomorrow morning but it’s a problem for future Minho. Present Minho is gonna enjoy the hell out of his night.

He downs his glass in one go before nearly slamming it on the table, and puts his hand up to order a few more bottles of soju. His friends start clapping and cheering when he claims it’s on him, and Minho knows this is gonna be one of the things he’ll weep over tomorrow.

Felix is trying to get Hyunjin off the table while the others film the whole ordeal, when Minho’s phone lights up and starts ringing.

> **channie-hyung** 🤴♡ _is calling_

Minho abruptly gets up and almost knocks a few bottles over.

_Chan ?_

His face is already hot from all the alcohol rushing through his veins. So he certainly doesn’t need the additional warmth spreading on his cheeks when he reads the name of the caller.

Chan is calling him. Right now. When Minho doesn’t even know if he’s able to speak a single sentence without stuttering or giggling like an absolute fool. He’s not even sure whether he has a filter or not in these kinds of situations. Or if he’ll be able to understand what Chan has to say to him.

But it doesn’t really matter because he’s already making his way outside, bumping into a few tables and chairs as he’s getting close to the exit.

He misses Chan way too much to care about his state of ebriety right now.

“Hyung !” He whines when he’s outside the pub and finally answers the phone.

His voice overlaps Chan’s soft ‘Hello ?’, and the older has the audacity to laugh at that, sounding beautiful and precious and like he could heal the world with the power of his laughter only.

“Hey there. Sorry I didn’t warn you about calling beforehand. Actually this wasn’t even planned.” He hears Chan taking a long exhale on the other end of the phone. “I just missed you.”

“I miss you too !” Minho almost yells, and then sniffs. “Dumbass.”

Chan laughs, and when he speaks again, Minho can hear the amused smile in his voice. “Correct me if I’m wrong but you sound a bit drunk.”

“I am !” Minho shouts, before slapping a hand against his mouth when he realises he’s not alone outside. He lowers his voice as best as he possibly can. “A little bit. Or a lot. I don’t know.”

“Mmmh ? Stay careful, okay ? You’re with the boys ?”

“Yeah. I think we’re gonna get kicked out soon though.” He squints, trying to get a glimpse of his friends through the restaurant’s windows. “Hyunjin is no longer on the table, at least.”

He hears Chan whispering a small ‘oh my god’ while chuckling. If he closes his eyes, Minho can imagine him at his desk, shaking his head fondly, a grin on his face.

“Hyung, what do you think of me ?” Minho blurts out without being able to stop himself.

At least now he’s fixed. He doesn’t have a filter when he’s drunk.

“Of you ? Where is that coming from ?” Chan sounds surprised.

“Don’t know. ‘Am curious.”

“Mmmh…” Chan audibly thinks, before sighing. “How do I say this without...” He stops himself before chuckling.

 _Without what_ ? Minho wants to ask, but he ends up not having the courage to do so, and the words remain stuck in his throat. He doesn’t think it would be a good idea to have this conversation while he’s drunk, for some reason.

“Well, I think it’s obvious that you’re important to me. Very important. You make me laugh. You make me smile. You just make me happy and-” He hears Chan groaning. “Why is this so difficult ?”

“Is this difficult because you don’t have much to say about me ?” Minho pouts.

“What ? God, no ! It’s the opposite actually, I have way too many things to say about you.”

“Good things ?” Minho says in a small voice.

“Very good things- wait. Minho I hear your teeth chattering, are you outside ?”

Minho nods before realising that Chan isn’t exactly able to see that before uttering a small ‘yes’.

“Do you have your jacket with you ? Maybe you should go back inside.”

“Don’t have my jacket with me.” Minho says after glancing around, as if his jacket was miraculously going to appear beside him. “‘Am cold.”

“Then go back inside. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow, okay ?”

Minho almost protests. But he catches himself because first, he’s in fact very cold, and second, he’s talking to Chan with way too much alcohol in his system. Talking to your crush while intoxicated sounds like a very dangerous idea that will end in disaster and Minho doesn’t want to go down that road.

“Okay…” Minho mutters. “But I’ll miss you !” He adds, because he can’t help himself.

“I’ll miss you too.” Chan breathes out. He sounds like he’s holding himself back from saying something more. “But yeah, go back inside and get warm.”

“Yes. Promise.”

“Bye-bye.”

“Bye-bye.”

Minho hears Chan hanging up, and he’s immediately hit by a wave of emotions, hitting him like a tsunami. He’s overwhelmed and tearing up when he goes back into the restaurant and his friends don’t seem to notice him at first, too busy shouting insults at each other, debating on who should pay for the next round.

But then Minho lets out a strangled sob, and god dammit, this is the first time he finds himself to be a sad drunk and he really doesn’t like it.

All heads turn towards him, waiting for him to speak.

“I like him so much.” Minho starts crying, as his friends rush to surround him, starting to dab napkins on his face - and ew, some of them are already damp with alcohol.

“He’s so dumb.” He wails. “But I’m dumber !" He wails even louder. "He’ll never like me back…"

His friends are too drunk themselves to try and get some sense into him, so they settle on pouring him another glass, and Hyunjin decides to close the debate on who’s paying next, since he’s calling the waitress, asking her to give them twenty more shots.

Minho downs most of them.

And he doesn’t remember much after that.

He remembers Felix trying to hold him upright and Seungmin telling the others to let him rot on the sidewalk until he sobers up. He also remembers sitting in the middle of the road while his friends scream in panic, trying to get him out of there even though no cars were passing by.

He knows Jisung half-carried him to their room, and that he held Minho’s bangs back when he was gagging above the sink.

He then got tucked into bed by his best friend, who was thoughtful enough to leave a bucket by the side of his bed, as well as a bottle of water.

He wakes up in the middle of the night, incredibly thirsty and with the ceiling spinning above him.

He downs half of his bottle before lying back down.

Minho vaguely remembers something about him yelling in the middle of the street that he was going to do something very stupid, and that after he said that, he took his phone out of his pocket.

He feels himself drifting back to sleep, hoping that he didn’t actually do the very stupid thing.

Or that it wasn’t that stupid.

He passes out.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

When he wakes up, Minho feels like there’s a construction site in his brain, with jackhammers drilling into his temples and screeching in his ears.

He’s so thirsty, he feels like there’s a ball of fur stuck in the back of his throat, and the inside of his mouth feels like plaster has dried there all night and has glued his lip corners together.

He groans when he forces himself to sit up, his head immediately pounding even more as he does so. He hears Jisung shuffling in the room, closing the blinds a bit more, before sitting by his side, handing him a very cold bottle that he starts gulping down. It’s coke, he realises. _Smart_.

His best friend also gives him an aspirin, and starts massaging his nape a bit, causing Minho to whine under his touch.

“Never again.” Minho mumbles.

“We all say that. And then we all cave in again.” Jisung sighs. “How are you feeling ?”

“Like I’m a shrimp which got its head ripped off before being thrown in a very spicy and very thick soup.” He says before drinking again, his bottle almost empty. “I want to die.”

“You really didn’t go easy on yourself yesterday. Did something happen for you to decide you’d get this shitfaced ?”

“Channie-hyung called me. And it made me cry. Because I like him.” Minhho puts his head into his hands, rubbing his face against his palms until he can see blue patterns underneath his eyelids. “Fuck. No really, I’m never drinking ever again.”

“Uuuh, speaking of which…” Jisung gets up before going straight to Minho’s night table, getting the older’s phone. He hands it to him, looking sheepish. “He’s been calling all morning. And texting you an awful lot. I don’t know what’s up with that but yeah.”

Minho frowns, snatching his phone from Jisung’s hand, who slowly goes back to his bed, obviously not entirely fresh himself.

Minho sees a few texts from Chan.

All of them sound a bit ominous, and it really does nothing to reassure him. His heartbeat quickens as he scrolls through the texts he can read on his lockscreen: “ _are you awake ?_ ”, “ _call me when you see this_ ”, “ _minho_ _?_ ”.

He shakily exhales and goes through the rest of his notifications, and aside from the usual ones he gets from his favorite mobile games, he also has five missed calls from Chan.

An unsettling weight starts making its way in the pit of his stomach, and he has this overwhelming need to puke when he unlocks his phone, but he needs to understand what’s happening.

The crippling feeling that he’s done something he shouldn’t have last night is growing bigger and bigger by the second.

He scrolls up until he has read all of Chan’s messages, starting with a “ _wow..._ ” followed by a “ _i think we should talk about this in person._ ”.

And then he sees it.

What has caused Chan to send him all these texts, and to call him relentlessly.

> **me**
> 
> _file attached: 1:32._

The nausea in Minho’s stomach is suddenly stronger. It twists his guts in ways that make him ache physically.

“I-I need to take a shower…” He gets up abruptly under Jisung’s tired gaze.

His limbs feel like they’re going to collapse from under him and his breath gets shallower.

He slowly enters the bathroom, and it's like his legs are not working anymore, so he lets himself crouch down, until his knees hit the tiles.

 _What have I done_.

His fingers shake as he unlocks his phone for the second time, deciding to press play on the file he sent to Chan.

When the first notes hit, and he hears his voice, Minho feels tears prickling his eyes, the shame and embarrassment of what he did last night hitting him like a truck.

He sent Chan the song.

The song he recorded with Jisung two nights ago.

He sent Chan the song where he confesses to him.

And Chan listened to it.

Minho holds his phone close to his chest, barely noticing Chan trying to call him one more time before he turns it off.

He slowly strips himself off his clothes before he gets into the shower.

He sits on the cold tiles, not having enough strength to hold himself up, and lets the hot water run on his body, gazing emptily at the wall.

He feels like crying. Like screaming. But nothing comes out except a few dry sobs that end up worsening his raging headache.

He brings his legs close to his body, and puts his forehead on his knees, his mind shutting off completely.

He realises he must have been on autopilot when he finds himself clean and draped in a towel, lying down on the floor, his right cheek cold and aching from resting on the tiles.

A few knocks come from outside of the door, and he hears someone clearing their throat.

“Dude, I don’t know what’s happening but you’ve been in here for over two hours. I put a change of clothes in front of the door. Come out, I’ll make you instant noodles.”

Maybe Minho answers. Maybe he doesn’t.

He knows he ends up getting the clothes from in front of the door because he's wearing them a few minutes later. When he gets out of the bathroom, Jisung looks at him with concerned eyes. Minho pointedly ignores him. He slides into the sheets, and closes his eyes.

When he falls asleep, he painfully realises that he wishes never to wake up.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

Minho has been avoiding Chan for three days.

He didn’t have the heart to block his number, but he marked it as spam. He still checks his texts from time to time, and everytime it’s to see that Chan is not giving up on trying to have a conversation with him.

Minho doesn’t go to his dance classes, in fear of crossing paths with him. He avoids the building like the plague, preferring to walk longer instead of having to walk in front of it everytime he goes to one of his lectures.

His appearance is gloomy and he’s always looking down at his feet when he walks, trying to hide myself inside his hoodie.

He doesn’t let himself think about the situation. He goes to his classes, walks back home, showers, does his homework, and then goes to sleep. He knows he’s not being rational about it. But he doesn’t want to think about it.

He’s terrified. Of his feelings. Of Chan’s.

Nothing makes sense in his head. When his brain accidentally drifts to the place of his mind dedicated to what happened, he’s so scared of what he sees, he exits it as fast as possible. Rejection, mockery, disgust. That’s all he can perceive. It tortures him.

Deep inside, he knows Chan would never make fun of him. He’s too kind and good to ever want to hurt anyone deliberately. But Minho knows everyone has their demons. And what if Chan’s demons have convinced him that Minho should be the exception. That Chan should point at him and laugh. That Chan should reject him in the most humiliating way imaginable.

It’s twisted how Minho’s brain works. Making up stories. Persuading him that anyone is out to harm him. He hates it. So he avoids thinking about it. He avoids thinking altogether. He’s working like a robot, safe inside his fortress, only thinking about classes and basic human necessities.

He knows people are worried about him. He sees it in Jisung’s eyes when he comes back to their roomhome and barely says hello to him. He sees it in Hyunjin’s soft gestures, when he uses a calmer voice to address him and tugs gently at his sleeve instead of dragging him somewhere. He sees it in the way his mom gets worried when he doesn’t answer her texts anymore.

Minho feels terrible. He doesn’t know how to get out of his head.

It’s 8PM when he walks back to the dorm. He forgot his earphones on his bed this morning. He spent the day hearing every little sound around him all day, every little hushed voice, which caused his entire environment to become unbearable. His ears are ringing as he walks, and there’s tension in the spot between his eyebrows. He’s exhausted.

“....-inho !”

He hears footsteps running in the snow. But he doesn’t turn around. He just wants to go home.

“Minho !”

He recognises the voice. His stomach hurts.

“Minho, please !”

A hand tugs at his wrist, and he’s being turned around.

Chan looks desperate. He’s out of breath. His eyes are sad, and red. The dark circles beneath them make Minho’s throat ache with guilt.

Because he’s the reason Chan looks like that.

“Please, Minho… Can we talk ?”

Minho fiddles with the straps of his backpack, and he’s back to staring at the ground. It hurts a bit when he speaks. He feels like he hasn’t spoken a proper sentence in ages. “What do you want to talk about ?”

The question is ridiculous. It should make Chan groan, and roll his eyes, and yell at Minho, and maybe push him to the ground, because it surely feels like he deserves it. But instead, Chan removes his hand from Minho's wrist, and tries to meet his gaze, in vain. His voice is soft when he speaks, as if he were talking to a frightened animal. As if he didn’t want Minho to run away.

“Why are you avoiding me ?”

Minho stays silent. He doesn’t want to tell Chan that he hasn’t been avoiding him, and that this is all a misunderstanding, and he just is going through personal stuff. He doesn’t want to, because he knows Chan knows better than that. Because Chan knows him better than anyone else.

“It’s about the song, isn’t it ?” Chan licks his lips, his breath is shaky. Minho has never seen him looking this unnerved and worked up. He looks hopeless. “Look, we can ignore it, alright ? And just go back to how things were before. Do you want to do that ?”

“Do you ?” Minho hears himself saying. “You want to ignore the song ?” He says in a wobbly voice that he doesn’t even recognise as being his own.

Chan’s eyes widen, and he starts agitating his hands in front of himself. He looks like he’s panicking. “Minho, that’s not what I-”

Minho opens his mouth. He knows it’s not going to end up well. He knows what he’s about to do. He hates it. He hates himself.

“No you’re right, Chan, let’s ignore it.” His voice is squeaky when he speaks, betraying the cold demeanor he’s trying to adopt. “Because it was just a joke in the end. In case you hadn’t noticed by how much I used to ignore you, I don't like you, I never have, and I never will. I just want you to leave me alone, got it ?”

“...What ?”

Chan’s pained expression contorts to one of confusion. He looks lost, like he doesn’t understand what he’s just been told.

“Minho-”

“Please, just leave me alone...” Minho manages to say as a sob leaves his mouth.

He turns on his heels, and he knows Chan isn’t going to chase after him. Because he just asked him not to. And Chan will always respect his wishes.

He feels mortified and cold, and he’s finally breaking down as he walks towards his dorm.

He forgot to take the longer road. He forgets everything.

All he feels is pain, like he’s agonising as the minutes pass.

Lee Minho was never one for emotions.

And that’s exactly the reason why.

Because he can’t handle the pain that comes with them.

Because he’s scared of hurting.

When he comes home, he doesn’t avoid Jisung’s eyes. He goes straight into his arms and cries until he tires himself out. Jisung doesn’t ask what happened. He understands. He puts Minho’s head on his lap as he watches his tv show and softly strokes his hair and his back. He draws invisible patterns on his face until Minho finally closes his eyes, and his breath evens out.

For the first time in three days, Minho doesn’t have nightmares.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

Minho stops going to his classes. He emails his professors, telling them that he came down with the flu, and that he doesn’t want to risk contaminating anyone.

He becomes one with his bed, not leaving the comfort of it except to go to the bathroom or to get another snack from his and Jisung’s stash, that the latter refills often after he comes back from class. He does offer to take Minho out for a meal. But Minho always shakes his head no, and Jisung leaves it at that. Minho can tell he’s scared of pushing him. He doesn’t blame him.

Chan has stopped sending him texts ever since that night. When Minho checks one of his social media accounts, he sees he’s been studying a lot and going out.

It reassures him as much as it hurts him.

He’s glad Chan is okay.

He’s sad he can’t be okay with him.

He considers going back home for a few days. Or forever. He misses the haven his parents, his cats and his house are able to provide him. He feels like he needs to be by their side the most in these moments. That he’d love to be coddled. He wants to go back to his bubble. He wants to forget the rest of the world exists.

His mom sends him more pictures of his cats. She catches them in both odd and adorable positions, and even films them at times. She adds more emojis to her captions, and tries to make a few jokes. She tries her best, and it's working, little by little.

Minho has his finger hovering over the call button, one afternoon Jisung has a lecture.

He takes a breath, before he presses it, putting the speaker on.

“Hello ?” The voice says after three rings.

Minho sighs in relief at the sound of his mom’s voice, as if she had removed a bit of weight off his shoulders just by being here. He answers with a very soft voice, feeling like he’s going to burst into tears if he speaks higher. If she notices, his mom says nothing of it.

They exchange a few casualties, before Minho asks about how things at home have been going. If his dad’s work has been tiring him, if they have visited his grandparents lately, or if his cats have been missing him. At that, Minho’s mom only laughs. Minho’s slightly hurt, but then he hears the familiar sniffing of one of his kitties against his mom’s speaker, and she tells him they’re beside her and are listening to him talking.

He feels himself breaking.

“Mom there’s a boy I really like.” He tears up and his voice cracks as he speaks the next sentence. “But i really messed up with him and now I don’t know what to do.”

When he starts crying, the tears on his cheeks are so warm, it’s almost comforting. His mom listens to him without interrupting. He doesn’t talk in detail about what has happened, or goes in depth about his feelings towards Chan, but it still feels good to finally let it out, and to have someone listen to him as he cries like a baby, something he hadn’t done since he lashed out at Chan a week ago.

He explains that he doesn’t understand himself, that he doesn’t understand why he’s so scared. Chan has been nothing but kind to him, and even if he doesn't share the same feelings as Minho, and decided to reject him, he would still do it in the most considerate way possible.

So why is he so terrified ? Why did he have to tell Chan off in such a harsh way ? Why did he have to lie ? From what is his brain trying to protect him ?

“My sweet boy,” His mom sighs after a few seconds of silence. “I believe you’re scared of losing him.” He hears her shooing the cats away, as if they were younger siblings spying on a conversation they shouldn’t be listening to. “Ever since you were little, we noticed you had a way of shielding yourself from being hurt. And I believed it worked well until you met this boy. But sometimes you meet people that become really important to you, and because their presence brings something new to your life, you feel a bit unsettled and sometimes scared, because it’s too different from what you’ve ever experienced before.”

She doesn’t elaborate on it a lot more, explaining to her son that at the end of the day, she can give him clues as to what she thinks is going on in his head, but he’s the only one who's able to find the answers. Minho listens to her quietly, sitting with a pillow squished between his stomach and his knees. He occasionally sniffles, but he stopped crying as soon as she started talking.

“Can I do anything ? To make it better ?” He asks, his fingers playing with his blanket.

“If you want to fix things, you have to talk to him.” Minho groans, his mom laughs a little. “But for the moment, allow yourself to think about what you really want.” And because she’s his mom, she adds. “And go back to class when you feel better.”

They talk a bit more after that, and Jisung comes back in the middle of it. He looks pleasantly surprised to see Minho sitting instead of being bundled up in his comforter like a caterpillar inside its cocoon.

When Minho hangs up, his best friend is on his bed, scrolling through a food delivery application in silence.

“Get me california rolls. And I want cheese tempura.” Minho says, while putting his blanket above his head. Jisung whips his head towards him so fast, he could have had the whiplash of the century.

“R-real food ? You want real food ?”

Minho nods, before getting up, still wearing his blanket around his body. Jisung walks towards him, extending his arms to squish him like a giant stuffed teddy bear.

“Don’t.” Minho tries to stop him, but Jisung already has his arms around him. “I stink. I was about to shower.”

“You do. But I don’t care.”

He rocks them back and forth, and Minho’s lips stretch into a soft, tired smile. He spent an entire week cuddled into his pillows, but not once did it make him feel warm and comforted like he is at this moment. Jisung’s hug works like a magic wand on him.

“It’s gonna be okay.” Jisung mumbles against his sweatshirt. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Minho doesn’t know if he’s referring to him, or to him and Chan.

He hugs Jisung back tightly, the tension in his shoulders leaving his body for the first time since he woke up after the night at the pub.

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

It’s snowing outside.

Minho is at his desk, filling in a worksheet one of his professors gave as homework for the week after. He’s almost done with it but he finds it a bit hard to actually finish it as he gets distracted a lot, constantly staring out the window, looking at snowflakes falling like a little kid.

He hasn’t been outside in a while, too busy self isolating and ruminating. He does feel better. His mind is a bit clearer and more at ease, even if it’s still quite messy in there.

He misses Chan. So much. Most of the time he tries to block out what happened between them, and he contemplates letting him go. He doesn’t feel worthy of him after the things he said.

But there’s still a part of him that keeps dwelling on all the moments they spent together and all the things Chan made him feel.

He sighs, letting his forehead fall against his paper, closing his eyes. Maybe he could continue tomorrow, and take a nap until Jisung goes home. And then maybe they could watch a movie and have dinner. It sounds nice, he thinks as he lifts his head up, only to see a notification popping up on his lockscreen.

> **Today, 6PM:** _bowling date with channie-hyung & co (─‿─)_

His heart pangs.

With the text is attached a selfie of both him and Chan at the night market they went to when they started hanging out.

Minho is half yelling at Chan because he kept ruining the previous pictures by pushing his shoulder everytime the younger would try to click on the button. He’s throwing his head back in laughter, looking so proud of himself and amused, Minho didn’t know whether to be mad or flustered at the time.

The selfie is blurry and you can't see their faces properly.

From a standard point of view, it’s the kind of picture you would directly put in the trash and forget about after a few minutes.

But from Minho’s point of view, it’s perfect.

It represents everything him and Chan were before Minho accidentally confessed to him.

It’s Minho being a bit grumpy and whiny before loosening up, because he wants to cherish every moment they spend together. It’s Chan being carefree and living in the moment, never missing an occasion to make Minho laugh even if it’s by being a little shit.

It’s their mess. They’re a mess. And nothing has ever felt right like this before.

Minho doesn’t want to lose this, he realises. It’s the best thing that has ever happened to him. Chan makes him feel like he’s able to climb the highest mountain, swim into the deepest ocean, and travel to space. All that without taking additional oxygen with him. Because Chan makes him breathe. He blows air into his lungs with a single glance and a few words.

Minho is out the door before he knows it, his feet taking him to the building where he knows Chan is gonna come out of in a few minutes. He was supposed to pick him up there, they had decided on it when they made their plans two weeks ago.

He forgets his coat, his shoes, his keys, his phone, and runs outside, because time is running out and he doesn’t want to spend one more minute without knowing if Chan and him will ever be okay again.

To hell with letting go and going back to his old self. Minho’s tired of being scared, and having regrets. It’s no use daydreaming about telling Chan he’s sorry, that he was being honest in his song and that he truly, wholeheartedly likes him so much. It’s no use daydreaming, because it will only leave him miserable and remorseful for the rest of his life. Minho needs to do something. He needs to fix this.

He hears laughter when he approaches the building, and from far away, he recognises Chan’s black winter jacket and his dark hair, that seems a bit shorter than last time he saw him.

“Chan !” He shouts as he comes closer before stopping in his tracks, his gaze drilling into Chan’s when he turns around.

Chan is shocked. His eyes widen and his eyebrows shoot up as he takes in the sight of Minho, standing a few meters away from him, his slippers buried in the snow. He looks both hopeful and on the verge of breaking down.

Minho starts walking towards him, and Chan gestures to his friends to go ahead without him, rushing towards Minho.

“Cha-”

“What are you doing here ? Minho you’re barely dressed !”

“Please Chan listen to me, I-”

“You’re not even wearing shoes ! What the hell, what were you thinking ?”

“Chan, I really need to-”

“We need to get you somewhere warm. Wait hold on I’ll give you my ja-”

“Chan !” Minho takes a hold of both his hands, stopping him from removing his jacket. “Chan please you need to listen to me.” Minho starts, his voice wavering, and he hates that he knows he’s about to cry. “I meant everything I said in the song and I’m sorry I acted the way I did after I sent it to you. I was drunk when I did it and I got so scared because- because…” He clenches his teeth trying to prevent them from chattering. “Chan, I like you so much ! I really do, with my entire heart… And I’m so sorry and-” A very cold breeze passes by and Minho’s entire body tenses up. “-maybe you don’t feel the same way-” A shiver goes down his spine.

Chan squeezes his hands tightly. “Let’s go back to my place and have this conversation there, okay ? It’s way too cold right now and I don’t want you getting sick.”

“But-”

“Please ?”

Chan’s expression is soft, although he also looks a bit overwhelmed. Minho doesn’t want him getting any more worked up, especially if he can help it.

He mumbles a small ‘okay’, and lets Chan wrap him in his jacket without complaining once, although dozens of protests are on the tip of his tongue.

But then, Chan is wearing his backpack on his torso and he gets in front of him, crouching down and extending his arms behind him.

“Hyung-”

“No objections, your feet are completely soaked. Get on my back.”

Minho closes his mouth, before sighing. He clumsily climbs on Chan’s back, his cheeks burning at the contact of the older’s palms under his thighs.

He wraps both his arms around Chan’s neck, his nose resting upon his nape as he seeks some kind of warmth. He tries his best not to nuzzle against him and internally begs his erratic heartbeat to slow down, as he’s scared Chan might feel it pacing against his back.

Chan adjusts him one last time before he starts walking. “My apartment is five minutes away from here. We’ll be there in no time.”

“Okay…” Minho’s voice is so soft, he isn’t sure Chan is able to hear him.

They’re silent the whole journey. It’s not particularly awkward, just odd for them, although expected, considering the situation.

Minho racks his brain while they’re on their way. He didn’t exactly think this through, and now he’s on his way to Chan’s place, with Chan himself, where he’s expected to apologise and then confess properly. It’s both terrifying and somewhat exhilarating, seeing as Chan hasn’t rejected him yet. That either means Minho’s got a chance, or that he'll gently be rejected.

Or that Chan’s going to chop his limbs off for being a dick to him.

In all honesty, Minho would rather get diced than being rejected.

Chan keeps carrying him when they’re in the elevator, and even when they enter his apartment. Minho barely has the time to glance around before they arrive in the bathroom and he’s being set down on a stool. Chan then leaves for a short minute before he’s back with what looks like a change of clothes. Minho peeks curiously at it.

“I’ll let you change, and then we can talk.”

“Y-you want me to…?” Minho’s eyes widen before his head snaps up. "Hyung, these are your clothes, I can’t-”

“Your slippers, socks, and the bottom of your pants are wet. And your sweater is thin.” Minho opens his mouth. “You can use one of the towels in the cupboard to dry yourself. I’ll be waiting on the couch.”

On this, Chan nods at him once, avoiding his gaze, before closing the door behind himself.

Minho glimpses at the clothes Chan left on the laundry basket. _His_ clothes. _Chan’s_ clothes. That are his. That he wears. On his body. And now Minho has to wear them too.

Minho’s nape probably shouldn’t be burning this hot when he passes Chan’s black hoodie above his head, but it’s so warm and soft, and the sleeves are a bit big for him, and most importantly, it smells like Chan. Like the boy he has a crush on and is waiting for him on the other side of the door so he can properly confess to him.

He doesn’t have a speech. Nor does he have the time to list what he wants to say.

Suddenly the idea of jumping out of Chan’s window and make a run for it until he’s on the other side of the earth sounds tempting. But Minho knows he already ran away too much. And it ended up hurting Chan.

Hurting him even more is the last thing he wants.

So he takes his courage in both his hands, and gets out of the bathroom, his feet shuffling against the floor as he approaches the couch Chan is sat on.

“Hi.” He says in a quiet voice, standing in front of him.

“Hey.” Chan answers, putting his phone down, looking directly at Minho before gesturing to him that he can sit beside him.

Minho complies and takes a seat at the end of the couch, as far away from Chan as possible, who’s sitting in the middle.

Usually in movies, after an argument, the love interests rush to say something first, Minho recalls, but right now, he and Chan are awfully quiet and not even looking at each other.

Minho knows he has to be the one opening the conversation, considering he’s the one who initiated it. And Chan deserves it. He deserves that Minho be the brave one for once.

“I’m sorry.” Minho starts, and he knows Chan snapped his head up to look at him, but he refuses to look away from the cushion in his lap. “I'm sorry I avoided you, and that I said those terrible things to you. Things that aren't even true." He inhales. "I’m not here to ask you to forgive me, I’m here because apologising is the least I could do. But also because I think you deserve the truth.”

He makes a small pause before sighing. “Not too long ago, I thought I hated you.”

Minho looks at Chan briefly. He has his mouth opened, and his eyebrows are half raised, half frowning. He doesn’t look too pleased. Minho facepalms.

“Wait, no hold on, the whole point of this is that it turns out I don’t ! I don’t hate you, I mean ! I know it sounds horrible but please hear me out.” He gulps. “I did everything to avoid being with you alone or talking to you because you made me feel all…” He flaps his hands around. “...weird.”

”My stomach would toss and turn, or suddenly my whole head would feel too hot, and worst of all, I felt like my heart was getting tazed. It was something I never felt before. And yes I know most people would know what all these sensations mean right of the bat but I didn’t. As ridiculous as that sounds, I didn’t. So I decided I didn’t like feeling that way, and by association, that I didn’t like you.”

He takes another breath, hiding his shaky hands in the hoodie’s pocket before continuing.

“And then the night at the bowling alley happened. I realised that something was wrong with my reasoning, because when I let myself go with you, I felt very good. As in I never felt this good before good. So I decided to give it a chance, and it turned out to be the best decision I ever made, because you became my favorite person in the entire universe.”

He marks a small pause, blinking a few times and breathing through his nose, getting ready to get on the part he was dreading talking about.

“I realised I like you, one evening. Not just as a friend, or a best friend. I realised I like you romantically. A lot. Probably too much.” He feels Chan wanting to get closer to him, but he doesn’t, and stays on his spot. “It didn’t really scare me because I told myself I didn’t have to act on my feelings.” He pursues his lips. “But then Jisung and I made this stupid song, and I sent it to you when I was drunk. This time I was scared, petrified even, and when I’m scared I prefer to hide than to do something about it. So I ignored you, and when you came looking for me, I said all those things to you.”

His index finger traces the cushion still perched on his lap, and he’s ready to continue talking, when Chan speaks up.

“Can you tell me why ? Why you were this scared ?” He sounds hesitant, the same way he did that night when Minho lashed out at him.

“I mean the obvious answer to that is that I was scared of being rejected.” Minho smiles sadly, fidgeting.

He knows Chan expects more, because he probably feels Minho isn't being entirely honest with him.

Minho lifts his head up, looking straight at Chan. Chan who looks both hopeful and desperate for answers. Chan who always pays attention to Minho and who knows him best, but who looks lost today, and in need of an explanation.

Minho never had to say anything for him to understand how he felt, but today he needs to talk to him, lay his feelings down right in front of him, bare, raw, without rehearsal, without any lies.

“But truthfully, what scared me the most, is that you make me feel like I’m a teenager who has yet to experience life.”

Even if saying out loud what he himself didn't understand until not too long ago is spine-chilling, Minho sucks it up and continues.

"You make me feel like I’ve never been harmed or deceived and like all is good in the world. I’m someone who’s really anxious, Chan. I’m constantly wary and I tiptoe around things and people and I’m scared of my own emotions because I’m so scared of being hurt. I’m scared of being with you because I’m also scared of being without you.”

He gulps, feeling his eyes watering as Chan stares at him.

“I don’t know how to make it better, or even if I can.” He wipes his eyes furiously. “But you at least deserved to hear that. If you want I can go home right now, I don’t want to inconvenience any more than I already d-”

Chan grabs his wrist. Gently. Carefully. He lets his thumb slide on the back of Minho’s hand and strokes the skin there. A gesture to calm him down. A gesture to make him stay.

They look at each other for a minute. Chan looks calm and at peace, Minho looks worried and puzzled.

“I like you too.” Chan says after a moment. “I have liked you for quite a while actually. But when we got closer, it got more intense very fast.”

Minho’s rendered speechless, feeling like the wind got knocked out of him. He blinks a few times, before frowning.

“You like _me ? Why ?_ ” He asks incredulously, because seriously, _why_ ? “I used to be horrible to you. I don’t think I-”

“Minho you weren’t horrible to me.” Chan rolls his eyes, smiling. “I don’t think you realised it at the time but the way you acted with me was very telling. You didn’t look like you hated me. You looked like you were flustered, and shy.”

Minho opens his mouth to protest. Chan decides to interrupt him even before he has the time to say anything.

“When we started hanging out, I decided to give you time to see if one day you wanted something more with me or not. I was ready to wait as long as I needed to. But then, out of the blue, you sent me this song.” He smiles to himself, looking like a kid remembering a nice dream, while Minho cringes very hard.

“And, for the record, I think you’re pretty neat too.”

Minho groans, hiding his face inside his hands, because he swore he told Jisung to cut that part.

“But then I remembered how you were drunk that night, and you probably didn’t mean to send it. I panicked because I knew you were probably going to freak out about it, and I wanted to make it better and let you know that I felt the same."

He looks down, probably not enjoying re-visiting these events.

"But you ended up disappearing. And I didn’t know what to do without making you feel pressured. When I saw you that night, I got desperate, and didn’t think twice before approaching you. It wasn’t right to corner you like that. And I knew you didn’t mean anything you said, you were just afraid.”

Minho squirms a bit, frowning. “You weren’t cornering me though, you just wanted to talk… I’m the only one at fault here.”

“My point is,” Chan licks his lips, tightening his grip on Minho’s hand. “I’m not mad about what happened that night. Sure I got hurt, but I also realised you needed time to figure out what you wanted.”

There’s a moment of floating when everything comes down on Minho’s shoulders and he’s hit by a wave of both euphoria and disbelief.

Chan likes him back, and he forgave him.

This somehow feels fake, like a film crew is gonna come out of a room at any point yelling that he just got pranked while confetti explodes and Chan laughs at him. But none of that happens. Instead, Chan is gazing at him while he’s gathering his thoughts, drawing stars and circles on his hand.

“You like me ?” He asks hesitantly, as if there was a chance he didn’t hear him properly earlier.

“I do.” Chan replies, beaming. “A lot.”

Minho instantly flushes and he feels the inside of his entire body fizz, like a bottle of champagne you would’ve just opened. Chan likes him. They both like each other. He feels his heart exploding in colors of orange and pink and purple and suddenly Chan tugs a bit at his hand and whispers a “c’mere.”, before settling him on his lap, his thumbs tracing his hip bones delicately.

Chan gauges him carefully, looking at him through his eyelashes, waiting for Minho to simmer down a bit.

Minho breathes out, before bringing his hands to Chan’s shoulders, to his neck, and then upper, until his fingers are spread out in his hair.

“You cut your hair.” He says dumbly, because although a part of himself is thrilled of what’s coming next, another part is definitely nervous.

“I was a bit of a mess without you, and this happened.” He lifts one of his hands up to tug at one of his strands of hair. “It’s a bit too short isn’t it ?”

“It’s not.” Minho rushes to say, before smiling timidly, slowly caressing the back of Chan’s head. “I like it.”

Chan looks at him like he’s a daydream, with twinkles and fervor in his eyes, as if he was ready to pounce on Minho and devour him all.

The grip he has on Minho is both strong and prudent, mindful not to hurt him, but also keeping him in place. It’s making Minho both feverish and anticipative.

Chan tentatively brings him closer by his waist, his gaze shifting to his lips before his hand comes up to put a strand of Minho’s hair behind his ear.

“Can I kiss you ?” He asks in a murmur, his hand sliding down to Minho’s nape.

Minho’s brain short-circuits for a few seconds because yes that is the logical following of events, this is what is supposed to happen after both parties have confessed, and Minho’s wanted this for a while and even has fantasised about it but now it’s actually happening and he’s so afraid he will somehow mess this up.

Maybe he should say no. Chan would understand. Maybe he should go back to his apartment and watch a few videos on how to become a good kisser in 24 hours and ask Jisung to be his test subject - which on a second thought, no, it would probably scar the both of them forever.

He gulps and his hands slowly go down until they’re settled on Chan’s shoulders.

He nods.

Because although he’s scared out his mind, he’s also sitting on the lap of the boy of his dreams, and they both share the same feelings for one another.

Chan brings him closer by the nape.

Minho’s breath hitches.

“It’s just me.” The older whispers, resting his forehead against Minho’s.

It’s just him. Sweet and sour Chan, with his vanilla smile and his citrus perfume, with his puppy eyes and his strong arms.

It’s Chan who makes people’s heads turn in the streets, but who only has eyes for Minho.

It’s Chan who gently rests his lips upon Minho’s, waiting for him to feel comfortable enough until he’s able to reciprocate the gesture.

Minho’s grip on Chan’s sweater tightens, and his mouth presses back against Chan’s as he shuts his eyes close, trying to ignore the weight settling in his heart.

There are no fireworks, as he expected. Instead all he feels is featherlight bliss, as if he was transported to a paradise island where he and Chan are the only ones allowed.

Minho’s pretty sure he’s never felt peace like this before. Everything feels right. Like nothing could disturb them ever-

“I loved the song, by the way.” Chan says in the middle of the kiss, with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Don’t say that while we’re..!” Minho frowns, his cheeks burning, hitting Chan after the latter pecks him on the lips “It’s ridiculous. I sound like Fergie at the NBA All-Star Game.”

“You sound lovely.” Chan tells him, rubbing their noses together. “And I noticed you used the melody I showed you back at the studio.”

“Did I ?” Minho raises his eyebrows, pretending to think. “I don’t know I just smashed the keyboard until it sounded somewhat decen-” He laughs against Chan’s mouth when he shuts him up by kissing him again.

He carefully brings his tongue to the hollow between Minho’s lips until he pries them open. Minho's not as shy as he thought he would be, he finds himself to be curious and tempted. Moreover, he always had a sweet tooth and the caresses Chan administers are sugary, like cotton candy melting against your palate, making it so hard to resist him.

He licks the inside of his mouth like you would lick a spoon of honey, sweetly, slowly, savoring every drop until clean. It’s loving and greedy. It makes him feel treasured.

The pace increases second by second, and Minho ends up having a hard time keeping up, with Chan’s ice cold hands underneath his hoodie and his mouth sliding down to nibble on his jaw.

“Chan- I don’t. I’m- ah-” He tugs a bit at Chan’s hair while his other hand grips his bicep. “Can we slow down ?” He asks, panting, when he gets Chan to look at him in the eyes. “I’m not sure of what I’m doing right now and it’s a bit overwhelming...”

“Of course we can.” Chan says, revelling in the sight of him with rosy cheeks and glossy lips before he holds him tight. “Sorry I get a bit eager when it comes to you,” He nuzzles his forehead against Minho’s chest. “You make my heart beat crazy fast.”

Bearing a rather speedy heart himself, Minho cuddles Chan’s head closer to him, as if he were trying to prove to him that he was making him feel the same way. They stay silent for a while, doting hands preciously touching, grazing, clutching.

Minho clears his throat, Chan snaps his head up, looking straight at him. “Can we still…” He gestures between their two mouths before looking away.

“Can we still what ?” Chan smiles while rocking him side to side, clearly enjoying Minho’s sudden timidity.

“I hate you.” Minho grumbles. He readjusts his hold on Chan’s face before carefully lifting his head so they’re looking at each other. “Can we still kiss ?” He asks, sounding confident despite his pink cheeks.

Without any words added, and a smile stretching his lips, Chan dives towards his mouth again and again and again. They spend long minutes tasting each other and speaking in murmurs.

When Chan’s roommate (Changbin, Minho thinks he’s met him before) with one of their friends (Jeongin, if Minho remembers well) enter the apartment, Minho is sitting sideways on Chan’s thighs feeling himself dozing off as he buries his head against Chan’s neck. Chan gently strokes his hair, scratching the side of his ears, whispering to Minho that it’s probably time he brings him home because apparently Jisung has been panicking over his disappearance.

Changbin lets Minho borrow his shoes for the walk home since they’re the same size, and Chan tucks him into his warmest coat. As soon as they’re out the door, their hands find each other, and they take the longer road, feet shuffling in the snow, the stars gazing at them from above.

They exchange lame jokes and giddy smiles. The tips of their fingers are red from the cold but neither of them want to let go, so they settle on walking as close as possible, trying their best not to trip over each other.

Minho has his heart threatening to fall out of his chest when they arrive in front of his door. He really doesn’t want Chan to leave, and judging by the tightness of the older’s hold on his waist, neither does he. They stay a few more minutes in each other’s arms, having a hard time breaking away from each other.

Chan gives Minho a long romantic kiss before he finally parts, his fingers cradling his face, his thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. He’s already walking away before he turns around one last time to give Minho a peck on the forehead, and then he’s out of the hallway. Minho opens the door quietly, immediately greeted by his best friend’s complaints.

Surprisingly, Jisung doesn’t ask him a lot of questions. He just expresses relief over him and Chan patching up and hurries Minho onto his bed because his new favorite drama is airing and he _has_ to watch it with him.

Minho decides it’s best to not disturb Jisung’s drama time and not to let him find out that him and Chan have not only been making up this evening - they’ve also been making out - but truly Jisung doesn’t need to know that right now.

Later in the night, when Jisung has cried himself to sleep after the tragic death of one of his favorite characters, Minho hides under his blanket, his phone lighting up his face as he opens the text Chan has sent him earlier.

 **channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> talked to my friends, they ended up not going bowling tonight. they’re going tomorrow instead
> 
> what do you say we go ? we can invite the rest of the boys too

**minho** ♡

> i’d love that
> 
> i miss you
> 
> can we fast forward to tomorrow

**channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> clingy much ?

**minho** ♡

> k bye

**channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> come back
> 
> pspspsps
> 
> i was jokiiiiiiing

**minho** ♡

> did u just pspsps me

**channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> i love it when you’re clingy

**minho** ♡

> guess it’s time i stop then

**channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> mean </3

Minho has had a question on the tip of his tongue ever since he and Chan shared their first kiss on the latter's couch. He was too embarrassed - and also too occupied - at the time to voice it out, but hidden in the safety of his blanket, he feels himself getting brave, and before he knows it, his fingers are already typing.

 **minho** ♡

> say
> 
> are we like...you know

**channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> elaborate

**minho** ♡

> are we
> 
> …
> 
> dating?
> 
> can i call you my boyfriend?

As tired as he is, his body still reacts strongly to the question he just asked, anticipating Chan’s reply by setting both his face and his stomach in fire. He puts his phone underneath his pillow for a few seconds, holding his face in his hands.

However he ends up being way too impatient to know Chan’s answer, and he pulls his phone out, not being able to wait a second more.

 **channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> hell yes we are
> 
> and hell yes you can
> 
> are you panicking rn

**minho** ♡

> ….no was just dozing off haha
> 
> it’s been a pretty long day lol

**channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> sure

**minho** ♡

> shut up
> 
> i do need my beauty sleep though

**channie-hyung** 🤴♡

> i'll let you go to sleep then
> 
> sweet dreams my sweet bf ;)

**minho** ♡

> YOU...
> 
> UGH
> 
> gn.
> 
> (♡)

_Boyfriends_ , Minho thinks as his head pokes out of the comforter, his arms spreading at his sides.

He brightly smiles, closing his eyes.

_Boyfriends._

»»———— ☾☆☽ ————««

“Should I wear the dark jeans again ? You said my ass looked nice in them last time.”

Minho spits out his mouthwash in the sink, coughing violently afterwards. “Okay, wow, first of all I never said that, I said they made your legs look nice, and second of all I don’t think they’ll go with your shirt. Take the lighter ones.”

Jisung starts holding his two pairs of light jeans up in the air. “Oh my god, the ones on the left.” Minho interrupts him before he can speak, but Jisung opens his mouth again. “ _Your_ left.”

Jisung happily begins changing into them, as Minho rinses his mouth.

“It’s like I’m your personal stylist or something.” He wipes his mouth on a towel before he extends his hand to the shelf, grabbing his bracelet. He tries to put it on by himself, and although he doesn't give up, he's failing miserably at it.

“You should be flattered.” Jisung says, putting his zipper up. Seeing Minho struggling, he walks towards him, sighing. “Let me do it.”

Minho gives him his wrist, letting his best friend fiddle with the bracelet.

“I never saw that bracelet. Where did you get it ?” Jisung mumbles as he concentrates on the task.

Minho smiles softly at himself. “At the night market, around two months ago.”

“Never took you for the type to go to the night market.” Jisung finally succeeds in putting the bracelet on. “Et voilà !”” He beams.

“Great, thanks, can we go now ? They’re waiting for us.” Minho grabs his jacket and his backpack hurriedly, checking his phone before putting it in his pocket. He’s ready to leave, standing in front of the door

“What ? NOW ?! Minho, my hair is a disaster !”

Minho sighs before approaching Jisung, and while the younger shrieks, he ruffles his hair messily, before throwing the younger’s jacket on his face. “I think it looks fine.” He shrugs.

“You’re evil.” Jisung grumbles, putting his jacket on. “Fine, let’s go.”

They both exit their room as Minho happily hums to himself, turning his keys around his fingers. He categorically ignores Jisung’s puzzled stare, and starts walking down the stairs faster, feeling his phone buzz inside his pocket.

When they arrive downstairs, they’re greeted by the sight of two figures waiting for them by the entrance. Minho leaves Jisung’s side and he’s practically running as he pushes the door open.

When he’s outside, he immediately clings onto Chan’s back, who jumps a bit at the contact, but then instantly turns around to properly take him in his arms.

They embrace before facing each other, exchanging smiles and hushed greetings, before they both lean in and exchange a quick kiss.

“Was starting to think you stood me up.” Chan mutters, his fingers drumming on Minho’s waist.

“Thought about it.” Minho smirks. “But I decided to be nice today.”

“You’re too kind.” Chan pulls away only to interlace their fingers, their bracelets clinking against each other.

When they both turn around, it’s to be faced with a shocked looking Jisung and an equally shocked looking Hyunjin.

“Y-You two, y-you’re…” Jisung stammers.

“S-since when ? What…” Hyunjin follows.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you.” Minho rubs the back of his nape sheepishly. “We started dating.”

“Yeah. I’m his _boyfriend_ now.” Chan says, which earns him a slap on the hip and a small ‘oh fuck off’ that only results in him laughing loudly.

They’re met with baffled looks which slowly deflate, and soon enough their friends are both congratulating them, although they both look a bit grumpy now, adorning slightly jealous face expressions, which make Minho snicker.

They all start walking towards the bus stop, Chan and Minho occasionally catching the other two looking back at them with envy. Hyunjin ends up trying to hold Jisung’s hand, but as soon as their pinkies make contact with each other, he cowers away and they both shyly laugh until they’re unable to look at each other.

Minho chuckles, bringing his hand to his face, when he catches Chan fondly looking at him .

“What ?” He smiles.

“You look so beautiful.” Chan says softy. They both come to a stop.

“Mmh ?” Minho wraps his arms around Chan’s neck, pulling him close.

“Mmh.” Chan hums against his lips.

They hear Jisung and Hyunjin yelling at them that they’re gonna be late. They also hear the bus coming their way. But they’re too busy melting against each other, sharing a kiss under the streetlight as their friends’ screeches only become louder.

Pulling away with giddy smiles, they start running towards the bus, waving at the driver to wait for them.

They’re both over the moon.

And who cares if they’re late, they know they’re gonna kill this bowling game anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SCREAMS* jesus i crammed this in like five days after taking a week long break after posting part one i’m sorryyyyyy i promise i’ll try to be more….organised in the future
> 
> i hope you guys liked it!!! i have so many projects in mind for my next (minchan) fic so idk which one i’ll choose, but i’ll make updates about this on my twt @cyberchans. i might not pull out a new story super fast though as i have homework and will start uni soon
> 
> ily all, thank you for sticking around and reading my story! see u soon !


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